A very big part of learning to be authentic has to do with accepting yourself just the way you are. As I said, I had to be able to say to myself, “This is who I am, with my flaws and my imperfections, and I am ok with it”, and not fearing to expose myself to the world or mind what they are going to think about me. 

 

Taking it one step further, I wanted to learn to accept everyone for who they are. Stop judging people. And I didn’t want to stop there. Living in the present moment, being awake, is being able to accept the present moment as it is. 

 

I was already a Deep Transformational Coach and had applied to take Eckhart Tolle’s course to become A Teacher Of Presence. I had mastered Acceptance and Presence in my coaching sessions. As soon as a session started, I could easily be present. I could listen to a client without any judgement. I could create the loving space for him to open up and go deep. But, in my daily life, it was a lot harder.

 

I knew acceptance was key in my life, and not only mine. As a coach, I am passionate about helping others find peace, balance and true meaning in their life. To do that, you need to accept your life, the people in your life, and the present moment, in order to make any necessary changes from a place of peace. I wanted to practice what I preach. I wanted to inspire peace and balance. I wanted to be the space. I wanted to be the peace. I made Acceptance my Word Of The Year to have it as a constant reminder. 

 

It has made a huge difference in my life, but I have to confess and warn you that it is a difficult thing to master. But when you do, it changes you forever. And not just you. You can be a positive influence on every person you come in contact with. We all want to be accepted. And people sense when they are judged, but even more when they’re not. 

 

What I have learned along the way is that acceptance sometimes is not about stopping your negative thoughts. It is not about forcing yourself to change your thoughts. It is about noticing them and saying to yourself, “It is okey. This is what I am thinking right now!” and moving on. It is not about beating yourself up for doing something wrong. It is about accepting it and forgiving yourself. The more you accept, the less it will reoccur. Until it stops completely. 

 

Acceptance can make a huge difference in your life. The moment you start accepting your mother, father, spouse, child, friend, colleague, boss for who she/he is, two things happen: 

 

The first, and probably the most important thing, is you are at peace. You feel a sense of inner peace within you because you no longer feel the need to change the other person. She no longer irritates you. He no longer makes you mad. 

 

I realised that acceptance is easy when you understand that people behave a certain way because they are who they are. If they could do better, they would. When you get that it is not about you. It is about them. When you stop making it about you. When you stop taking it personally. When you remember that you cannot change someone or help someone unless they want it themselves. Until then, all you can do is accept them. If they are harming you in any way, then remove yourself from their life. 

 

The second thing is that your relationships become better, deeper, stronger. Why? Because when the other person feels accepted his behaviour towards you changes. He doesn’t feel threatened or judged. In your presence, she is more relaxed, more open. People will be aware of the peaceful energy you are emitting and will be drawn to you. 

 

I am saying this from personal experience. It started happening to me after a while of practicing acceptance. The first time was in April of that year, and it had only been three months since I started focusing on acceptance, but of course, remember it is also one of my core values. We were setting up for a live concert in a public place on a Greek island, and I was just hanging around in front of the stage, overlooking the progress of the works. I saw a young lady walking by. She suddenly stopped, came to me and said: “I saw you again yesterday. I couldn’t help myself; I just wanted to tell you that you emit amazing energy, and you look so peaceful and grounded!” I smiled and thanked her as she turned around and left. At first, I was almost speechless. But on second thought, I realised it was exactly what I had been practising. It was the Universe’s way to show me I was on the right track. I was doing something right. And other people were feeling it, too! Which was my mission and my intention.

 

The other part is accepting what is happening in the present moment. You cannot control an event, but you can control how you react to it. It is not about being passive; it is not about being ok with something that is clearly wrong. It is about accepting that it is happening. Not being in denial. Not wishing it was different or that you were somewhere else. Accept that it is what it is. Sometimes, there’s nothing you can do about it, and others, you can take action. But when you start with acceptance, as I said before, it will bring you inner peace. From this peaceful openness, you will be able to access your wisdom, to take the best possible action, which sometimes can be to do nothing and just be. In acceptance. In peace.   

 

As I am travelling a lot, one of my favourite times to practice acceptance is before during, and after a flight. I am sure you too can think of so many annoying things that happen there. Things that are out of our control. Like flight delays, or long queues for checking in, going through passport control or the security check. Sitting next to a very large person. Children shouting and crying non-stop. Someone sitting behind you who can’t stop fidgeting. 

 

I remember I used to be so pissed at the poor parents for not being able to control their children. Sometimes even thinking that people shouldn’t be travelling with small kids! How absurd is that? Or I would be angry with the person behind who can’t stop moving and jerking my sit. I would get so impatient with every long queue wishing it would move faster. And through it all, I was feeling more frustrated and miserable. 

 

What do I do now? Nothing. I accept the situation. ALL of the above situations! The noise, the queues, the delays, the bumps on my back. I breathe deeply and slowly, and focus my attention elsewhere, mostly inwards. I find peace within. I put on my headphones and watch or listen to something that I love. And you know what? It works. I am happy and at peace, instead of being angry, annoyed or stressed. I enjoy my trip and arrive wherever it is I am going, relaxed, and usually with a big smile on my face. Whether I am traveling for vacations, for work, or just returning home. I love flying and going places as much as I love coming home to my three cats and my solitude. Acceptance has made the trip so much more enjoyable.

 

The more I practice acceptance in my life, the easier it becomes. Within a year of focusing there, I was able to feel it has become second nature to me. I was ready to move on to my next Word Of The Year.