Last night, I returned to my hotel in Tokyo after attending the premiere of Pillars of Power, still reflecting on the Ikigai Abundance Retreat 2026 with Ken Honda, which had ended three days earlier.

My eyes were tired from wearing contact lenses all day, and I couldn't wait to put on my glasses. I opened their hard case and found them in two pieces. The tiny screw holding one of the arms had completely disappeared. How does a screw vanish from a pair of glasses inside a closed, hard case?

My first reaction was surprise. My second was, How am I going to see properly now? But then I thought: What is the symbolism of this? What is it trying to teach me? And it got me thinking about everything I'd experienced during the retreat.

I'd had some wonderful conversations, helped people, and received feedback that reminded me why I love what I do. One woman even told me that something I'd shared had transformed her life. At the same time, I'd approached a few influential people about possible collaborations, and they didn't seem particularly interested. I felt disappointed. And then I caught myself thinking, One day, they'll be the ones approaching me.

I laughed when I realised what was behind that thought. A little part of me wanted to prove them wrong. And that raised a much more interesting question.

Whose eyes am I using to see my own worth?

The Tiny Beliefs That Hold Everything Together

Think about a screw. It's such a small thing, yet it can hold an entire structure together. Our beliefs often work the same way. We hold assumptions about ourselves that seem insignificant until we begin to notice how much they influence our thoughts, feelings, and decisions.

Perhaps you recognise some of these:

• I'll feel successful when the right people recognise my work.
• I'll feel worthy when someone chooses me.
• I'll feel confident when I achieve more.
• I'll be happy when my circumstances improve.
• I'll believe in myself when other people believe in me.

These beliefs can become the invisible screws holding together the way we see ourselves. And because we've lived with them for so long, we rarely question them. We simply accept them as truth. But what happens when we begin to loosen one?

What happens when we realise that someone's lack of interest says very little about our value? That another person's success takes nothing away from our own? That we can appreciate recognition without depending on it? We might discover that we've been looking at ourselves through someone else's eyes.

Are You Trying Too Hard?

There was another experience during the retreat that I'd almost forgotten about.

During the Ikigai Abundance Retreat, I had a healing session with Dr Murata. What he told me turned out to be one of the most valuable lessons I took away from those days. He told me two things.

First, that I tend to overthink. And second, that I try too hard.

He suggested a simple exercise. When walking, instead of concentrating intensely on what's directly in front of me, I should look further ahead and become aware of my peripheral vision. He explained that widening my visual attention could help my thoughts subside.

So I tried it. And here's the funny part. I was trying really hard to do the exercise correctly! I was concentrating on my peripheral vision, making an effort to notice everything around me, trying to make my mind clear.

Until he reminded me to relax. That was the whole point. I was turning an exercise in relaxing into another task I had to accomplish.

And I wonder how many of us do exactly the same thing in other areas of our lives. We try hard to succeed. We try hard to be good partners, parents, friends, or professionals. We try hard to become better versions of ourselves. We even try hard to relax, meditate, be present, or stop overthinking. And sometimes, all that effort creates more tension.

We become so focused on getting things right that we forget to experience what we're doing.

Perhaps you've noticed this yourself. You sit down to meditate and start wondering whether you're doing it correctly. You take a holiday and feel you should be making the most of every moment. You work on your personal growth and become frustrated when an old pattern appears again.

Even our desire to improve ourselves can become another source of pressure. What if, occasionally, we allowed ourselves to loosen up? To stop concentrating so intensely on the outcome and give ourselves permission to simply experience what's happening?

What Are You Missing While You're Focusing?

Dr Murata's exercise taught me something beyond the experience of having fewer thoughts.

When I relaxed my gaze and became aware of my peripheral vision, I noticed more of what was happening around me. And my mind became less occupied with whatever I'd been thinking about. That made me wonder how often we do the opposite in everyday life.

• We focus so intensely on one thing that everything else fades into the background.
• We focus on the person who didn't acknowledge us and overlook the people who appreciate us.
• We focus on the opportunity that didn't materialise and miss the possibilities opening up around us.
• We focus on what we haven't achieved and forget how far we've already come.
• We focus on the problem and struggle to see the possibilities.

Our attention becomes so narrow that we start believing the small part we're looking at represents the whole picture. But there's always more happening than what we're concentrating on. And sometimes, widening our attention is enough to help us see it.

Sometimes we're so focused on what's directly in front of us that we forget how much more there is to see.

What Happens When You Change the Angle?

This morning, I put on my broken glasses.

With one arm missing, I had to tilt my head slightly to keep them in place. And guess what? I could still see perfectly well. All I needed was a different angle. It made me laugh, because isn't that so often the case in life?

We look at something from one perspective and become convinced that what we see is the whole picture.

Someone ignores our message, and we feel rejected. Someone disagrees with us, and we question our judgement. Someone else achieves something we want, and we wonder why we're falling behind. Yet the same situation can look completely different when we change our perspective.

What if that unanswered message has nothing to do with us? Or the person who disagrees sees something we haven't considered? Or someone else's success is evidence of what's possible rather than a measure of what we're missing?

The situation may remain exactly the same, while our experience of it changes completely.

What Are You Trying to Prove, and to Whom?

There's another question worth asking ourselves.

How often are our ambitions influenced by the desire to prove something?

To prove that we're successful. That we're capable. That someone was wrong about us. That we deserve to be loved, respected, or included.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to achieve great things, build meaningful relationships, or receive recognition for our work. But the motivation behind those desires matters. Consider the difference between: One day, I'll show them what I'm capable of. And: I know what I'm capable of, and I'm excited to see what I can create.

The first keeps our attention on the people whose approval we're seeking. The second allows us to focus on what matters to us.

And now I can see another connection to Dr Murata's advice. When we're constantly trying to prove ourselves, we can become so focused on the destination that we miss the experience of getting there.

We push harder, plan more, compare ourselves with others, and wonder when our time will finally come. But what if our time is already here? What if we're already making a difference, already creating opportunities, already living parts of the life we've been working towards?

This is a reminder to loosen our grip on how we think everything should happen, feel good about ourselves, and enjoy more of it today.

A Little Insight in Perspective

The next time you catch yourself overthinking, feeling overlooked, or trying too hard to make something happen, try this.

First, widen your vision.

Find a safe place to stand or walk. Allow your gaze to rest comfortably ahead of you. Without straining your eyes or moving them constantly from side to side, become aware of what's happening at the edges of your visual field.

Notice the shapes, colours, movement, and space around you. There's nothing to achieve. Loosen your shoulders and your face muscles. Simply allow yourself to relax. Create some space in your thoughts and from this peace you can then ask yourself three questions:

1. What am I focusing on so intensely that I might be missing everything else? Perhaps your attention has been captured by one disappointment, one problem, or one desired outcome.
2. What am I trying so hard to prove, and to whom? Notice whether your efforts are coming from something you genuinely want or from a need for recognition and approval.
3. What might I see if I relaxed and looked at the situation from another angle? Consider what else could be true and what possibilities you may have overlooked.

Sometimes, a little space between ourselves and our thoughts allows us to see things differently.

Seeing the Bigger Picture

Looking back at the retreat, I find it amusing that I had almost forgotten Dr Murata's advice. He'd told me to stop trying so hard, relax my focus, and widen my vision.

A few days later, I found myself staring at a pair of broken glasses, wondering what I was supposed to learn from them. And the next morning, there I was, wearing those same glasses with my head tilted, discovering that I could still see clearly.

I don't know why that tiny screw disappeared. And I'll probably never find out. But the experience reminded me of something worth remembering. We can spend so much time trying to make life happen the way we think it should that we overlook what's already happening. We can become so concerned with how other people see us that we forget to appreciate who we are. And we can try so hard to find clarity that we create the very tension that makes it difficult to see.

We could all benefit from relaxing our focus occasionally, looking around us, and appreciating the bigger picture.

As for my glasses, I still need to get them repaired. Walking around Tokyo with my head tilted isn't particularly practical! But they've already given me something valuable to think about.

Sometimes, all it takes to see clearly is a change of perspective.

And perhaps, a little less trying!!!

A Question for You

Where in your life are you trying too hard?

And what might you discover if you relaxed your focus, widened your perspective, and allowed yourself to see everything that's already there?

If you've ever struggled with overthinking, self-doubt, or the feeling that you need to prove yourself, these are some of the themes I explore in my book, As I Am: How to Stop Overthinking and Start Being.

Discover As I Am on Amazon.

My mother challenged me yesterday. We were talking about the phrase I use so often: Create a life you don't need a vacation from.

Creating a life you don't need a vacation from does not mean being on vacation all the time. It means creating an everyday life you actually enjoy, so you are not constantly waiting for the next vacation. Because your life should be fulfilling today.

That, to me, is The Art of Living.

Over the past few weeks, I have watched two completely different stories unfold. Here in Greece, the death of George Mazonakis has dominated conversations and television programmes. Internationally, Ed Sheeran has suddenly found himself at the centre of an enormous controversy following the removal of Macklemore from his tour.

Different people. Different circumstances. Different issues. Yet I keep noticing the same human behaviour. Within hours, sometimes minutes, we decide who is right and who is wrong. We choose a side. And then something even more interesting happens.

We begin to identify with our side.

Suddenly, questioning anything that supports our position feels almost like betrayal. Nuance disappears. Curiosity disappears. People we have never met become idiots, monsters, cowards, frauds or worse. All from behind a screen.

Why are we so quick to judge?

Human beings have always formed groups. Belonging helped us survive. We still do it today, except our tribes may now be political, spiritual, medical, cultural or ideological.

We saw it vividly during COVID. Vaccinated. Unvaccinated. Science. Alternative medicine. Left. Right. Pro this. Anti that. Once we put ourselves into one group, it becomes surprisingly easy to stop seeing the people in the other group as individuals. They become the enemy.

And media and social media know how to feed this. They didn’t create our need to belong or our appetite for a villain, but they have become remarkably good at exploiting both. An algorithm doesn’t require the full story. It requires our attention. Anger gets attention. Outrage gets attention. Certainty gets attention.

“I don’t know enough about this yet” rarely goes viral. Perhaps that is precisely the sentence we need to say more often.

What do we actually know?

The case surrounding George Mazonakis is still being investigated. Serious allegations have been made against the two doctors involved, and the judicial process will establish what can actually be established from the evidence. That matters. Because an accusation, however serious, doesn’t suddenly give the rest of us access to everything that happened in that room.

Nor does one case automatically tell us everything about alternative or complementary approaches to health. Putting every unconventional practice, every practitioner and every therapeutic approach into one enormous box labelled “mumbo jumbo” may feel satisfying. It doesn’t make the conclusion more accurate.

I have also heard privately from people who say they had very different experiences with the practitioners now being discussed publicly. Some describe being helped by them. Yet speaking publicly in their defence suddenly carries a social cost. And that fascinates me.

I cannot verify those individual experiences, and they cannot tell us what happened in this particular case. But the fear of saying, “My experience was different” tells us something important about the climate we create when public discussion becomes a trial by crowd.

Then there is Ed Sheeran.

Millions of people have watched another story unfold and formed conclusions about what he believes, why he acted as he did and what kind of human being he must therefore be. Yet even the publicly available facts became more complicated as the story developed.

Sheeran said Macklemore’s removal from his tour was ultimately a decision made by promoters and venues after objections to Macklemore’s statements about Palestine. Other artists withdrew from the tour in solidarity with Macklemore. Sheeran was attacked for his response and his desire to keep his concerts politically neutral.

Then he spoke publicly about Gaza, describing the situation there as catastrophic and unjustifiable, while also acknowledging mistakes in how he handled what happened.

People can agree or disagree with his choices. But how many of us actually know what conversations took place behind closed doors? How many know the contractual obligations, pressures, conversations and consequences involved? And how many simply read a headline, watched a 30 second video and decided who Ed Sheeran is?

We have done this before.

COVID showed us how quickly disagreement can become identity.

People weren’t simply discussing vaccines, mandates, risks or medical evidence. They became the vaccinated and the unvaccinated. And suddenly, everyone seemed to become a medical expert!

Friends judged friends. Families argued. People on both sides sometimes spoke about the other as though intelligence, morality and human worth could be determined by a medical decision.

The subject changes. The mechanism remains remarkably similar. Today it is George Mazonakis or Ed Sheeran. Next month it will be somebody else. There will always be another scandal, another controversy and another invitation to choose a side.

Perhaps the more interesting question is why we accept the invitation.

Why does belittling another person sometimes make us feel better? Why do we need the stranger on Instagram to be stupid so that we can feel intelligent? Why do we need someone else to be morally inferior before we can feel morally certain? Why does belonging to the “right” group matter so much? And what happens to our capacity for compassion when our identity depends upon someone else being wrong?

There is a difference between thinking critically and judging another human being. We need critical thinking... and the freedom to express it. When disagreement comes with the risk of ridicule, attack or exclusion, people learn to keep their opinions to themselves.

We need courts to examine evidence. We need journalists to investigate. We need scientists to challenge claims. We need people to question authority. We need accountability when people cause harm. But we can do all of that without hatred.

We can say, “I disagree.” We can say, “The evidence suggests something different.” We can say, “If these allegations are proven, there should be consequences.” We can also say three words that seem increasingly difficult:

I don’t know.

I don’t know exactly what happened. I don’t know what another person was thinking. I don’t know what pressures they were under. I don’t know everything they have experienced. I don’t know enough to reduce an entire human being to one headline.

There is tremendous freedom in those three words.

Because when I no longer need to identify a villain, I can become curious again. I can listen. I can question my own assumptions. I can disagree with someone’s choices without hating the person who made them. And perhaps most importantly, I can decide what kind of person I want to be while everyone else is shouting.

I would rather create more love and acceptance in my life than spend it searching for people to despise. And perhaps it is fitting that I am writing this today, 21 September, the International Day of Peace.

We tend to think of peace in terms of countries, wars and conflict. But peace also begins much closer to home. In how we speak to each other. In how we respond to people we disagree with. In our willingness to listen before we condemn. In choosing curiosity over certainty, and compassion over hate.

There will be another controversy next month. There always is.

The question is: when everyone around us is choosing sides, how much compassion, curiosity and openness can we bring to the conversation?

Three years ago, I booked a four-day holiday to Anafi with somewhere to stay for only two nights. Then, when I landed in Santorini, I discovered that the boat that was supposed to take us there had stopped running because its captain had been arrested. A few years earlier, this would have been enough to ruin my holiday before it had even begun. This time, I decided to treat the whole thing as an adventure.

It began with an impulse.

A friend and I were discussing what we might do in August when one of us said, “Why don’t we go to Anafi?” Anafi is a small Greek island near Santorini. Neither of us had been there before, and I had very little idea what travelling there involved. You can either take a ferry from Athens for around twelve hours or fly to Santorini and then take another boat for an hour and a half.

We decided to go.

I immediately booked flights to Santorini and boat tickets to Anafi. We would stay for four days. Simple. Then I tried to find somewhere for us to sleep. Booking.com showed no availability. In fact, it kept suggesting hotels in Santorini instead. Airbnb gave me the same result. I eventually discovered that Anafi has very few hotels and rooms to let, and August is hardly the ideal month to book a spontaneous holiday on a tiny Greek island. The only available room I found cost €400 a night. We weren’t feeling quite adventurous enough to pay €1,600 for four nights, so we decided to keep looking. If we found nothing, we could stay in Santorini instead. It is a large island. Surely we would find something there.

I also discovered a local website listing rooms to let, and we began calling them one by one. Still nothing. Every three or four days, I went back onto Booking.com to look for cancellations. Finally, around ten days before our trip, a room became available at the same hotel, this time at €200 a night. There was just one small complication: it was available for only two nights. We booked it.

Our new plan was to arrive in Anafi, stay at the hotel for two nights and look for another room once we were there. Perhaps finding something in person would be easier. And if it wasn’t, we could return to Santorini. Or sleep on the beach for a night or two.

What made this entire situation even stranger was that I had never travelled like this before. I used to plan my holidays from beginning to end. I researched the restaurants I wanted to visit and the beaches I wanted to see. I probably knew which beach I would go to on which day. Leaving accommodation, transport and large parts of the holiday to fate was completely out of character for me. But this time, I was fine with it. I will treat it as an adventure, I thought, and smiled to myself. After all, Adventure is my word of the year.

We flew to Santorini. We had just collected our suitcases when my phone rang. It was a woman from the hotel asking how we planned to get to Anafi. “By boat,” I replied. “We have tickets.” “Well,” she said, “that boat hasn’t been running for the past couple of weeks. The captain was arrested, and there is no other captain to operate it.”

I was speechless.

“What can we do?” I asked. She explained that another couple staying at the hotel had the same problem. A small boat had been arranged to take them across, and she would find out whether they had already left. If we could reach the other side of Santorini in time, perhaps we could join them. We jumped into a taxi, made it in time and crossed to Anafi with the other couple.

We had arrived. We had a room for two nights. Now we needed a car. There was only one car rental company on the island, so I called.

“I don’t think I have anything available,” the man told me. “Call me again in an hour.”

I called him an hour later. “Who are you?” he asked. “I called you an hour ago about renting a car.”

“Oh, yes. Let me check.”

We spoke again later. He still didn’t remember me. Eventually, my friend and I decided that our best chance was to go to the village and meet him in person.

“Hi,” I said when we found him. “I’m the woman who has called you several times about a car.”

He looked at me blankly. I wrote down my name and telephone number. When I called again, he finally told me that he had no car for that day, but he could give us one the following day for twenty-four hours. “We’ll take it.”

The hotel then found a room for us for one more night. One problem solved.

The next day, when we returned the car, I asked whether there was any chance we could keep it for another day. “No, it is already booked,” he said. “But let me check. I’ll call you if I find something.”

We left. Fifteen minutes later, he called. “You can come back and get it. You can have it for one more day.” Another problem solved.

Finally, we found a cabin on the ferry travelling directly from Anafi to Athens. It left at five in the morning, one day earlier than we had originally planned, but it gave us an easy way home.

Somehow, everything worked out.

We found a way to reach the island when our boat ceased to exist. We found somewhere to stay when the entire island appeared to be full. We found a car, lost it and found it again. And we found a ferry cabin to take us home.

The most surprising part was that I never felt stressed. In the past, the uncertainty alone would probably have ruined my holiday before it had even begun. I would have wanted every problem solved in advance and every detail safely organised. This time, I dealt with each situation when it appeared. I accepted what was happening, looked for the next available option and continued enjoying myself. I went with the flow. And the holiday became exactly what I had decided it would be: an adventure.

That holiday taught me that how much we enjoy ourselves has less to do with everything going according to plan and more to do with how we respond when it doesn’t.

Here are my dos and don’ts for making the most of your holiday:

Be adventurous

Don’t aim for the perfect holiday.

Make your plans, book the places you want to visit and look forward to the experiences you want to have. But leave some space for the unexpected.

A beach may look very different from the photographs. The restaurant you wanted to visit may be fully booked. Your ferry might even lose its captain.

Stay open. Go with the flow. Be curious about where an unexpected change might lead you. Sometimes the story you will remember for years begins with something going completely wrong.

Be present

Give yourself permission to stop solving your problems for a few days. Most of them will still be waiting when you return, and thinking about them throughout your holiday will rarely solve them.

This is your time to rest, recharge and have fun. And you can only experience any of that when you are actually there.

Put your phone down. Stop scrolling aimlessly and have a real conversation. Let your gaze wander. Notice the people around you, the sounds, the colours and what is happening beyond your screen.

Take photographs, of course. But after you capture the moment, return to it. Experience where you are instead of spending your holiday documenting it.

Be accepting

Something will probably go wrong. A flight will be delayed. The weather will change. Children will be screaming at the table next to yours in the restaurant. Someone in your group will become tired or irritable. The hotel room may bear very little resemblance to the carefully edited photographs online.

When something you don’t like is already happening, getting stressed, angry or complaining about it will not change it. It will only take away more of your peace.

See the situation as it is. Ask yourself whether there is something you can do. If there is, look for a solution. If there isn’t, accept it and decide how you want to experience the next moment.

Acceptance allows you to be at peace with what is. And when you are at peace, you have the clarity to make better choices.

Be grateful

Look for what there is to appreciate.

The warmth of the sun. The sea. A beautiful sunset. A delicious meal. An intimate conversation. Laughing with friends. Reading a book with nowhere else you need to be.

These moments can appear small while they are happening, yet they often become the memories we value most.

Gratitude brings your attention back to what is already here. And when you are present enough to notice it, you may discover that your holiday doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.

Be yourself

Don’t turn your holiday into another list of things you should do.

Listen to what you need. If you are tired, rest. If you want to spend the afternoon reading by the sea, do that. You don’t have to visit every attraction, accept every invitation or spend every moment with the people you travelled with.

A holiday spent trying to please everyone can leave you needing another holiday when you return. I know, because that is exactly how I used to spend mine.

A holiday gives us the space to experience a different way of living: to be more adventurous, present, grateful, accepting and true to ourselves. But what is more important is that we can continue living this way when we return home. These are some of the ideas I explore in my book, As I Am, where I share what helped me move from self-doubt and overthinking towards presence, peace and joy.

Have you ever had a holiday where nothing went according to plan? I would love to hear what happened and how you responded.

As soon as I got on the boat for the journey home from Kefalonia, my mind was already thinking about everything waiting for me.

Emails.
Projects.
Ideas.
My to-do list.

I was feeling stressed and overwhelmed.

You’re behind. So many things to do. So little time.

I noticed what was happening. I still had three hours on the boat and another two and a half hours of driving ahead of me. I wanted to enjoy the rest of my journey instead of spending it mentally working.

So I did what I often encourage others to do.

I found a quiet place overlooking the calm sea, opened the Notes app on my phone, and spent about fifteen minutes writing down everything that was on my mind. As I wrote each item, my mind became quieter.

I arrived home early in the afternoon. Instead of opening my laptop, I gave myself permission to enjoy the rest of the day.

I had something nice to eat, watched Netflix and reminded myself that it was still my last day of vacation. The next morning would arrive soon enough.

In the background, the overwhelm lingered.

Before going to bed, I listened to an Eckhart Tolle audiobook to remind myself: “Allow whatever you are feeling. Give it your attention. Let it be exactly as it is.”

When I woke up, the feeling was still there. The pressure. The overwhelm. The voice telling me there was far too much to do.

I smiled. I knew exactly who I was dealing with. My Mr Magoo was back. That’s the name I have given to the part of my mind that creates dramatic stories.

Instead of believing the story, I became curious. Whose voice is this? Where is this pressure coming from? Why do I need to do all this now? What will happen if I don’t?

I made a cup of my favourite Jasmine tea, sat down at my computer and began with the first thing that naturally wanted my attention. Within a short time, I was feeling better. I was focused again. One step at a time felt enough.

Looking back, I realised that what helped me was a series of small, conscious choices.

Three things to do when post-vacation overwhelm kicks in

If coming home from a vacation leaves you feeling overwhelmed, these three simple practices can help you settle your mind and move forward with more peace and clarity.

1. Get everything out of your head

Take ten or fifteen minutes to write down everything that is on your mind.

Emails.

Projects.Ideas.

Errands.

Anything that feels unfinished.

Writing everything down creates space. When your mind no longer has to hold on to everything, it can finally relax.

2. Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling

Feeling overwhelmed after a vacation is part of being human. Instead of rushing to make the feeling disappear, just let it be. Allow yourself to feel whatever is here without trying to change it. We have learned to be afraid of uncomfortable emotions, and we try to avoid them at all costs.

Instead, notice your thoughts and ask yourself:

Who is saying this?

Is it true?

Most of the time, it's just a story created from our conditioning... to be more and do more.

3. Take the first step

Choose one task.

Give it your full attention.

Notice what happens.
 

Momentum builds one step at a time. Very often, that's all it takes for the mind to settle and for a sense of peace to return.

Watch out for part 2, where I will talk about another aspect of post-vacation blues.

Why chasing people who ignore you feels addictive...

Today, I woke up with a song playing in my head… again.

Listen to your heart... before you tell him goodbye...

And I thought:
“How many times have I not listened?”
“How many times have I convinced myself that I wanted someone, when deep down I knew it wasn’t right?”

Not because I truly loved them, but because they didn’t choose me. And that... triggered something deeper. The ache wasn’t about connection. It was about rejection and my inability to let go of wanting to feel worthy in the eyes of someone who wouldn’t give me what I needed.

I remembered a recent conversation I had with a friend.

He and one of my best friends had asked ChatGPT:
“How do you flirt to conquer a woman?”

ChatGPT, playing the old-school romantic, answered:
“Be nice. Buy her flowers. Serenade her under her window.”

They both laughed at how outdated it was. When he told me the story, I said, “I disagree. I think you’re both wrong.” Because while I understood what he meant, and yes, I’m also guilty of responding that way in the past, it’s not the right way in. It’s not real. It’s ego.

The Pattern: Win, Get Bored, Leave

This is how it usually goes.

You chase.
You win.
And then... you’re done.

Suddenly, the excitement disappears.

What felt urgent and magnetic now feels boring... flat... suffocating.

And the relationship ends. Not because the person changed, but because you were never really in it.
You were chasing a confirmation. Not a connection.

What really happened is that they were never a true match. They were just a mirror for something you needed to prove to yourself. You were hooked by the emotional distance, pulled in by the rejection, fixated on the idea of being chosen. Once that’s over... the spark fades.

I told him, “That’s exactly why the relationship doesn’t last. It wasn’t with the right person to begin with. You didn’t lose interest because it stopped working. You were never truly interested in who they were... only in what it felt like to be wanted by them.”

This Isn’t Romance. It’s Ego

When someone pulls away or seems indifferent, it activates a part of us that says, “I’ll show you. You’ll see how great I am.”

And when that part takes over, it starts calling itself love.

But it’s not. You don’t want the person.
You want to feel like you matter.
You want to win.

That feeling of "if I can just get them to want me, then I’ll know I’m good enough" is incredibly strong.
It feels like passion.
It feels intense. Charged. Addictive.
But it’s not romance. It’s an act.
And, it’s your ego... in survival mode.

You Don’t Want Them As They Are. You Want Who They Could Become!

Sometimes it’s not even the real person we’re chasing.
It’s the version of them we believe they could be... if only they healed, committed, opened up, changed.

We convince ourselves:
“If I love them enough, they’ll transform.”
“If I prove my worth, they’ll finally choose me.”
“They just need the right person, me, to awaken.”

But love doesn’t work that way.
People change when they choose to.
Not because you showed them how lovable you are.
Not because you sacrificed or stayed.
And definitely not because you moulded yourself into their perfect partner.

Believing you can turn someone into who you want them to be is a beautiful fantasy. But it’s still a fantasy. And the longer you stay in it, the longer you’re disconnected from the real relationship… the one where two whole people meet as they are, not as projects.

Love Isn’t a Game. It’s a Fit

If it’s love... it’s going to feel clear.
You won’t be confused. You won’t be overthinking every text.
You won’t be adjusting yourself to become more appealing.

You’ll just be you. And it will feel... right.

Struggle usually means misalignment. If you have to work this hard to be seen, it’s probably not a space where your real self belongs.

This is when you ask yourself:
“Do I actually like this person... or do I just want them to like me?
Do I enjoy who they are... or am I addicted to the chase?
What part of me is trying to prove something here?”

You might realise you don’t even want them.

You just want to feel enough in their eyes.

You’ll Know It’s Right When You Stop Acting

You’ll speak without editing yourself.
You won’t worry about being too much or too little.
You won’t be trying to be cool, or casual, or mysterious.
You won’t need to calculate how to make them stay.

There won’t be games.
There will be ease... and resonance.

And That ChatGPT Answer? Maybe It Wasn’t So Wrong

Years ago, someone did sing under my hotel window. Not because they were trying to manipulate me, but because they felt something, and they wanted to share it.

I still remember it.

We don’t remember the games.
We remember the sincerity.

Closing Thought

When you enter a relationship trying to prove something, trying to be chosen, trying to feel worthy, you are already disconnected from the real connection you long for.

Relationships that start with a strategy almost always end in collapse. Real love starts with authenticity. On both ends. And it is built on trust, not shape-shifting to please.

Before you ask why they lost interest, ask why you were chasing in the first place.

Before you say someone became boring, ask if you ever saw them clearly.

And before you go after the next emotionally unavailable person, ask yourself:
“Do I want real love... or do I just want to win?”

Because that answer will guide your next move.

Be here. Be wild. Be you. 🦋
Myrto

From Doing It All Alone to Letting People In: A Lesson in Receiving Support

Have you ever felt like you had to do everything on your own?
I did… for years. But recently, something shifted. A song, a dream, and a series of unexpected friendships reminded me of something I didn’t know I needed:

It’s safe to receive support.
From your spirit guides. From your community. Even from yourself.

Here’s how it happened.

I Asked My Spirit Guides for Help… and Got a Song Instead

A few nights ago, I was jet-lagged, restless, and full of thoughts after returning from a long trip to the U.S. I asked my guides for help:

The next morning, I woke up with a smile on my face… and a song playing in my head on repeat:

“Keep smiling, keep shining, knowing you can always count on me.
For sure, that’s what friends are for.”

At first, I thought it was just a sweet message from my spirit guides.
And it was.
But then, something deeper clicked.

Receiving Support Isn’t Just Spiritual. It’s Human, Too

The song mirrored something bigger I hadn’t fully acknowledged:

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been finding support in real, tangible ways.
During an intensive five-day public speaking training, I formed meaningful connections, something that’s historically been hard for me.

But this time? It felt natural. I felt seen. I felt held.
And I allowed it.

Then, just yesterday, we wrapped up a five-month Speaking & Influence Mastery course. And instead of saying goodbye, our mastermind group decided to continue meeting every couple of weeks simply because we want to keep supporting each other.

These may sound like small things, but for me, they’re huge.
Because they represent something I’ve been learning slowly, and now living:

I don’t have to do it all alone.

The Old Belief: “If I Rely on Others, I’ll Get Hurt or Be Disappointed”

For a long time, I believed that asking for help meant weakness.
That I had to carry everything myself. That no one would be there if I stumbled.

That belief got me far but also left me burnt out, isolated, and emotionally guarded.

This song, “That’s What Friends Are For”, became more than a melody.
It was a reminder that both my guides and my people are here for me.
I just have to let them be.

Letting People In Feels Like This:

If You’ve Been Holding Everything Alone…

Ask yourself:

You might be surprised by what opens up.

Because support is everywhere if we’re willing to open the door.

Final Thought: That’s What Friends (and Guides) Are For

If you’ve been feeling the pressure to do it all…
If you’ve been silently waiting for someone to show up…

This is your reminder:
You are allowed to lean.
You are allowed to ask.
And it’s safe to let people (and unseen helpers) show up for you.

I see you.
And I believe support is closer than you think.

With so much love,
Myrto
🦋 Be here. Be wild. Be you.

P.S. I’ve been documenting the messages I receive through music in a playlist called Soul Songs: Messages from My Guides. You can listen to it [here: My Spotify Playlist Link], or follow the journey on Instagram [@myrtomangrioti].

How to Write a Destiny Decree: A Practice for Knowing Yourself and Your Path

We spend so much of life trying to figure out what we are meant to do.
But beneath that question lies a deeper one: Who am I meant to be?

True purpose is not found by chasing goals or outcomes. It unfolds naturally when you begin knowing yourself, when you let life show you who you already are beneath the expectations, roles, and noise. When you truly know yourself, what you are here to do becomes clear, not because you force it but because it flows from authenticity.

That is what the Destiny Decree revealed to me.

I wrote mine as part of the Manifesting Mastery course I am taking, but it quickly became much more than an exercise. It became a mirror, reflecting my highest self, my deepest truth, and the vision of who I am discovering myself to be.

A Destiny Decree is both knowing and becoming. It connects you to your inner frequency, the energy of your essence, and translates it into words that call your future into form.

Through writing it, I refined not just my purpose but my presence. It helped me discover my identity, clarify my values, and define the legacy I want to create, not as a wish but as a conscious vibration I choose to live every day.

Below, I will share what each part of this Decree means to me and how this practice can help you know yourself more deeply and align with the person you are becoming.

Identity

The first part of the Destiny Decree is about essence. Who are you when you remove the labels, achievements, and expectations? Most of us define ourselves through what we do, but identity, in its purest form, is being. It is the energy that enters the room before you speak.

When I wrote “I am the Oracle of Wild Elegance, graceful, grounded, and untamed,” it was not branding, it was truth. It describes the range of what I want to embody: depth without heaviness, grace without rigidity, wildness without chaos. It reminds me that my presence is the message.

Who are you when you stop performing? What qualities remain when everything external falls away?

Mission

Mission is both vision and direction. It is the way we move through life with intention. It asks us to define what matters and then live it fully.

For a long time, I believed my mission had to be fixed, perfectly defined, something measurable and strategic. But I have learned that clarity does not mean control. A true mission is a living expression of your values. It is both a plan and a pulse, a way of choosing to move forward that feels true to who you are.

My decree begins: “My work is a transmission, delivered through books, stages, coaching, and cosmic conversation.” That is what I want my life to feel like now: a dialogue with the Universe, expressed through whatever form it chooses. When I wrote that I “turn self-doubt into creative fire and silence into impact,” I am describing the alchemy that happens when truth moves through me.

Purpose becomes powerful when it is not only understood but embodied in how we live every day.

Wealth and Power

This section changed my relationship with abundance completely. For years, I had mixed feelings about money and power; they seemed at odds with spirituality. But wealth is simply energy, and energy needs to circulate to stay alive.

My decree states: “I receive and hold wealth in ever expanding ways, as my frequency and vision naturally mirror each other in infinite flow. Money moves through me with joy and purpose. It expands my influence, my freedom, and my ability to rest deeply.”

That is what wealth feels like when it is in harmony with the soul: clean, generous, and alive. Power, when embodied consciously, is no longer about domination; it is about presence. It is the capacity to create, uplift, and contribute without fear or apology.

What does abundance feel like when it is aligned with your values? And what would change if you allowed money to move through you as love?

Love and Relationships

Love is not separate from our path of growth; it is the field where our inner work becomes visible. Every relationship reflects our capacity for presence and truth.

I wrote: “I am met in love by a dynamic partner who matches my depth, mirrors my brilliance, and cherishes my freedom.” That line did not come from longing but from wholeness, from knowing that I could only meet that kind of love once I stopped abandoning myself.

Love, as I know it now, is not a compromise but a co-creation. It begins with self-honesty and flourishes in freedom. When we are no longer performing for approval, we create space for love that feels like home.

Flow and Time

This is the realm where I feel most at peace.

“I live outside the clock. I live in sacred timing. I am a time bender.” It sounds poetic, but for me it is reality. When we stop fighting time, life starts arranging itself around our peace. Creativity does not follow schedules, it follows resonance.

The more I honour my natural rhythms, the more time bends to meet me. “My creativity is lunar, intuitive, and orgasmic.” I kept that line deliberately, because creation, when aligned, is explosive, a living force that expands and moves through me with its own rhythm. It is life expressing itself in its most vibrant form.

Where in your life are you still racing the clock? What would shift if you trusted the rhythm of your own unfolding?

Writing this Decree reminded me that becoming is not about striving toward a future; it is about embodying a truth that already lives within you. It is not about achieving; it is about aligning.

When you put it into words, you give form to energy. You begin to inhabit your potential as if it is already here, and that changes everything.

If you feel called to create your own Destiny Decree, do not overthink it. Start with the simple desire to know yourself. Let the words come from the part of you that already knows.

And when they do, read them aloud. Let them anchor in your body. Let them guide you. Because knowing yourself is the beginning of becoming everything you are here to be.

To live unapologetically is to honour the divine design of who you are. The moment you stop shrinking to fit the world, the world expands to meet your truth.

Be here. Be wild. Be you. 🦋

(Full Destiny Decree follows… shared raw and unapologetically.)

My Destiny Decree is how my presence moves through this world.  I am stillness, wearing these words.

✨ MY DESTINY DECREE

A declaration from my highest self. A frequency broadcast. A remembrance of truth.

🦢 IDENTITY

🔥 MISSION

💸 WEALTH & POWER

💗 LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS

🕰️ FLOW & TIME

🕊️ I am not chasing the life I desire. I am remembering it. Returning to it. Reclaiming it. This is how my presence moves through this world.  I am stillness, wearing these words. This is what I create. This is what I attract. And so it is. And so it is. And so it is.

P.S. If you resonate with this and you're interested in working with me, please message me here.

Why Chasing Approval Leaves You Empty And How to Find Yourself Again

So many of us are exhausted. Not just from doing too much… but from trying to be too much. We chase success, approval, and productivity because somewhere along the way, we internalised a story: “If I do more, achieve more, become more… then I’ll finally feel enough.”

And it’s exhausting.

But here’s the question that stopped me in my tracks:

What law of the universe says it has to be that way?

Who decided what makes a life “successful” or “worthy”?
Why do we push ourselves to live lives that don’t even feel like ours?
And why are we so afraid to step off the stage and stop performing?

We rarely stop to question the script. We just keep reciting it, hoping the applause will fill the emptiness inside.

The Hidden Cost of Approval

I used to believe I had to earn love, success, and even rest. If I did all the right things, stayed kind, smiled often, avoided conflict, and overdelivered, then maybe I’d finally feel worthy. Safe. Accepted.

But it wasn’t working.

For almost fifty years, I lived as the “good girl.” I chased approval, fitted myself into other people’s expectations, and performed whatever version of me I thought would be most lovable. I became so good at it, I lost myself completely. I was a chameleon, constantly shape-shifting… and it wore me down.

Even vacations never felt like vacations. At a friend’s house for a long weekend, I did everything to feel liked, to be the perfect guest. I cooked, I cleaned, I played DJ, I smiled through the tiredness, jumping into every conversation to keep the energy high. No wonder I came home drained instead of refreshed… needing a vacation from vacations. And this wasn’t a one-off. It was my norm.

Slowly, inevitably, I became deeply unhappy.

My wake-up call didn’t come out of nowhere. It had been building for years. The fatigue, the constant pressure to perform, the stress from work, the emptiness I carried home after every social event… it all piled up. The last straw was panic attacks. Sudden, overwhelming, impossible to ignore. My body was screaming what my heart had been whispering for years: this isn’t working… something has to change.

That’s when I realised how empty I felt inside. If you had asked me then what brings me joy, I wouldn’t have been able to answer. I had been so focused on who I thought I should be that I had no idea who I really was.

I started to question everything. Not because I had the answers… but because I couldn’t keep living that way.

Who Made the Rules?

So I asked myself the questions we rarely stop to ask:

And the biggest question of all:

Who is dictating what you should or shouldn’t do and be?

That was the eye-opener. Because in the end, it wasn’t “them” at all. It was me, my own inner voice, repeating the rules I had absorbed without question.

You may not realise how conditioned you are until you step back from the noise and whisper: What if I don’t want that? And then, more daring still: What if I want something else?

The more I questioned those rules, the clearer it became: the problem was never that I wasn’t enough, but that I kept believing I had to be someone else to be worthy.

Being You Is Not a Flaw. It’s More Than Enough.

This is what I wish I realised sooner: you don’t need to be louder, smarter, richer, or more polished to be worthy. You don’t need to be shinier or smoother. You just need to be real.

You just need to be you. Not a performance. Not a role. Not a filtered version.

Because your energy, your truth, your way of being — unpolished and unperformed — is the very thing that creates connection. It’s how we find the people who see us. It’s how we stop feeling alone. It’s how we finally find peace in our own skin.

Authenticity builds genuine relationships. It is not about perfection; it is about presence.

Let This Be Your Reminder

You are allowed to take up space as you are.
You are allowed to have needs, preferences, and desires.
You are allowed to change your mind, speak your truth, and trust yourself.

You are allowed to stop pretending.

Try This

This week, let yourself just be.

Then say this out loud:

I am allowed to be exactly who I am.

Take a breath. And mean it.

Final Thought

The people who are meant for you will love you more when you stop trying. The peace you crave will meet you when you return to your truth. The joy you miss is waiting beneath the mask.

You don’t need to become more to be enough. You’ve always been enough. The only thing left is to believe it.

Be here. Be wild. Be you. 🦋
Myrto

I Watched All IX Star Wars Episodes. 9 Things I Remembered About Life

For years, I avoided Star Wars. Darth Vader’s breath literally gave me nightmares as a child, and I couldn’t understand what the fuss was all about. But recently, after a conversation with a friend, I decided to binge all nine episodes, starting from Episode I rather than release order.

At first, I almost quit (those childish creatures in the beginning nearly did me in, sorry die-hard fans). But as the story unfolded, I was hooked. Beyond the lightsabers and epic battles, I found life lessons hidden in every corner of the galaxy.

Honouring the nine episodes, here are nine reminders that struck me most:

I. Don’t centre on your anxieties

One line from Episode I hooked me: “Keep your concentration here and now where it belongs.” That’s the essence of presence. When we live in past regrets or future worries, we miss what’s unfolding now, and often make poor choices because our judgment is clouded. Clarity, creativity and peace live in the present, not in mental time travel.

II. You’re stronger than you think

Again and again, characters reached their breaking point and then found courage they didn’t know they had. Life works the same way. When we feel like we have nothing left, there’s often more strength waiting inside us. Sometimes it’s only when we’re tested that we discover what we’re capable of. Let this be a reminder: You can and you will get out of whatever situation you’re facing.

III. The power of friendship

You don’t have to do it on your own. Even the strongest Jedi couldn’t face everything alone. Every victory depended on friends, sometimes found in the most unlikely places. That reminded me that friendship isn’t just about having people who support us, but also about being willing to show up for others. True friendship is mutual: giving and receiving, sometimes with people we never expected to call friends.

IV. Everything is energy

Einstein proved it, and Star Wars illustrates it: energy never dies, it transforms. You see it in nature with every cycle of birth, growth, decay, and renewal. Endings aren’t really endings. Even when something appears to end, its essence carries on in another form… in memories, in impact, in the way it shapes what comes next. Energy, and maybe even life itself, continues in ways we can’t always see.

V. We are all connected

The Force made this literal, but connection is real in everyday life too. Haven’t you ever thought of someone, only for them to call moments later? Or noticed how plants respond to loving attention? Our thoughts, words, and actions ripple out further than we imagine. And when we acknowledge it, we become more mindful, more compassionate, and more intentional about the impact we make in the world.

And speaking of connection... if you would like to connect more personally with me, you can always do that here: Connect with me.

VI. Negative emotions feed the dark side

The saga couldn’t have been clearer on this point. Jealousy, anger, envy, and pride only pull us deeper into suffering. It’s easy to believe that happiness will arrive when we achieve something:  status, wealth, recognition. But if the emotions driving us are rooted in fear or lack, no accomplishment will be enough. Real peace doesn’t come from domination or control. It comes from gratitude, kindness, acceptance, and love. That’s what sustains joy in the long run.

VII. It’s never too late

Some of the most inspiring moments were when characters turned away from destructive paths and found redemption. It reminded me that nothing is ever fixed. Our past doesn’t chain us. We always have the power to choose differently. How many times have you thought, “It’s too late for me”? Too late to start over, too late to forgive, too late to try again. Star Wars pushes back on that lie. Change is always available. Renewal is always possible. And it begins the moment we decide.

VIII. Creativity and diversity

What blew me away was the sheer imagination: creatures, planets, entire worlds brought to life, all so wildly different, yet presented as completely normal. And no one points out the strangeness. Everyone simply coexists. A quiet but powerful message: diversity is not something to tolerate; it’s simply reality. We are all different, in appearance, in beliefs, in experiences. And that difference is what makes the universe (and our world) vibrant. It made me wonder what would change if we viewed human diversity the same way, not as strange or threatening, but simply part of the complexity of life.

IX. May the Force be with you

At the end of it all, this phrase isn’t just a catchline. It’s a blessing, a reminder of the deeper power available to all of us. When we slow down, tune inward, and trust that connection, we tap into something far greater than ourselves. You may call it God, Spirit, the Universe, or Consciousness. Whatever the name, the truth is the same: there is wisdom, strength, and guidance within us and around us… supporting us every step of the way.



Watching all nine episodes was not just entertainment. It was an unexpected journey into wisdom, wonder, and reminders I needed to hear again.

So I’ll leave you with this: which of these nine lessons speaks most to where you are right now? I would love to know.

(Any reference to the movies is for educational purposes only. No copyright infringement intended. Please contact me for credits or to discuss further.)

Why I Almost Skipped Celebrating a Big Win. And Why You Shouldn’t

Yesterday, I submitted my book proposal for “Am I Enough?” to the Hay House Writers’ Workshop contest. It was a milestone I’d been working toward for months. I had to step out of my comfort zone and keep going, even when I felt clueless, discouraged, or without inspiration. For me, a big win, a soulful YES that took courage, discipline, and heart.

You’d think I would’ve paused to celebrate, right?

Instead, I did what so many of us do.

I moved on.

Before the energy of the moment even landed in my body, my mind was already asking:

What’s next?

What else is on the to-do list?

What didn’t I get done today?

This is the voice I know well. The voice of the “good girl” inside me.
The one addicted to proving, producing, and pushing through.
The one who believes celebration is only allowed after everything is perfect, and even then, it should be quiet, brief, and probably feel a little guilty.

But this time, I caught it. And I chose differently.

I paused.
I smiled.
I let the pride in.
I let the moment land.
I celebrated.

Not with fireworks or fanfare. But with presence. With joy. With softness.
I whispered to myself:
“This mattered. I matter. I achieved this… and I want more of it, because I can.”

Why We Skip the Celebration

I see this all the time with my clients, my friends, and especially with the high-functioning women I work with.

We accomplish meaningful things… projects, conversations, healing, surviving another hard day… and we skip right over them. On to the next task. The next problem. The next “improvement.”

Why? Because many of us were raised to believe our worth lives in what we do, not who we are.
We’re conditioned to keep producing.
To keep proving.
To keep going.

And when we don’t pause to celebrate, we reinforce that old belief:
It’s never enough. I’m never enough.

What If Celebration Is the Missing Link?

Celebration isn’t about showing off.
It’s not about waiting for the perfect win.
It’s not about proving anything to anyone else.

It’s about saying to yourself:
“This mattered. I showed up. I kept going. I’m proud of me.”

Celebration is how we honour the version of ourselves who didn’t give up.
It’s how we make joy safe.
It’s how we say: “I want more of this. I can have more of this.”

The “I Am Enough” Celebration Ritual

Not sure how to celebrate yourself?
Here’s a gentle ritual you can try to honour any win, big or small.

1. Set the space
Light a candle or incense. Play music that makes you feel expansive.
Wear something joyful, something that makes you feel like you.

2. Write it down
On a piece of paper, write what you’re celebrating:
“Today, I honoured myself by ____. I am proud. I am enough.”
Let your feelings pour through: relief, joy, gratitude, even disbelief.
It’s all valid.

3. Acknowledge your inner child
Close your eyes.
Picture the little version of you: the one who always tried to get it “right.”
Imagine offering them a gift: a flower crown, a golden pen, a high-five, or a warm hug.
Whisper:
“Look what we did. We showed up. We kept going. We are enough.”

4. Toast yourself
Pour a glass of something special: wine, tea, sparkling water, cacao... whatever feels good.
Raise it high and say out loud:
“To me, to this win, and to all that’s coming next.”

5. Anchor the moment
Keep your note somewhere sacred: inside your journal, under your pillow, in a keepsake box, or even beneath something symbolic (like a stone, ring, or photo).
Let it remind you:
You paused.
You celebrated.
You claimed it.

What Are You Celebrating Today?

You don’t need permission to feel proud.
You don’t need to wait until it’s all perfect.
Start now.

You’re doing better than you think.

👇 Drop a comment and let me know: what are you celebrating this week?
Big or small. Loud or quiet. It all counts.
Let it land.

With much love...

Be here. Be wild. Be you. 🦋

       Myrto

P.S.

✨ Click here to learn more about my book:

“Am I Enough? – Go from No to Yes and Beyond” 

Your Message Matters. Get It Out!

For half a century, I hid behind the “good girl” mask; saying yes when I meant no, trying to please everyone, aiming for perfection in everything I did. I thought it would make me feel more lovable and worthy… but it didn’t.

No more.

Today, I’m a coach, author, and speaker, and I’m here because I have a message to share:

The world needs more conscious people.

How can that be achieved? By helping people become the best version of themselves.

If you’re reading this, I believe you already have a message that can move people in that direction. You might even feel it pressing against your heart, waiting to be expressed… maybe it could even change someone’s life. And yet, you hesitate.

Why you might be holding back (and how I did too)

Sometimes it’s early conditioning: the things we were told as children about speaking up, taking space, or “knowing our place.” The rules about what we should or shouldn’t do, what’s safe, and what’s not. Our beliefs are shaped by parents, teachers, friends, and our experiences along the way.

When I was about ten years old, I was in a school celebration for Greece’s independence, performing a traditional dance. While setting up for the dance on stage, we had to sing a folk song. Being the “good girl” and perfectionist I was, I sang my heart out. Then I heard my teacher say, “Who is making that noise?” She pointed at me and said: “You! Don’t sing out loud. Just form the words with your mouth… I don’t want to hear a word!”

You can imagine what this did to a ten-year-old’s confidence. In my head, the words stuck:
You’re not good enough.
You’re not allowed to express your authentic self unless it’s perfect.

The doubts that follow us into adulthood

And then you grow up and start working on yourself. You learn, you evolve, and you begin to sense that you have something worth sharing with the world. You find the courage — or maybe it’s simply the need — to start learning more about it, to prepare yourself to give it form.

You feel increasingly compelled to speak your truth… but then you stumble into a familiar feeling, one that may have been with you for years:

I’m not good enough.
I’m an imposter. Who am I to speak on this?
What do I really know? Not enough.
People will see right through me.

The self-comparison trap

That was me when I was training to become a Success Principles & Methodology Trainer with Jack Canfield.

I am sitting in these Zoom meetings, in gallery mode. And what do I do? I compare myself to everyone else and decide that I am the most inexperienced, least knowledgeable, and least accomplished of all the other people in the virtual room. And I stay silent, feeling small.

But when you have something burning inside you, silence is painful. So you keep working on yourself, building confidence. That’s what I did.

And then… even when you feel ready, something else can stop you — perfectionism, overthinking, fear of getting it wrong.

Perfectionism in action

I’m a recovering perfectionist.

I’m at my desk, drafting a two-sentence email. Twenty minutes go by. I’m stuck deciding whether to start with “Dear,” “Hi,” or “Hello.” Then I agonise over whether to end with “Best regards,” “Kind regards,” “All the best,” or “Thank you.” I read and re-read every word, questioning the syntax, the tone, the choice of punctuation.

It’s exhausting. And it’s not just about emails; it’s a pattern that affects everything.

I know I need to break it. So I take a bold step: improv lessons.

What improv taught me about mistakes

In improv, the first rule is that there are no mistakes. You simply build on whatever is said. It’s about the “Yes, and…” mindset, where you support your co-actors and keep the scene moving.

For an overthinking perfectionist, that’s terrifying. Every time I say something, I second-guess it — Was that the right thing to say? Or, I could have said something more clever.

But improv has a smart antidote: if you think you’ve messed up, you take a step forward, shout, “I failed!” and bow. The group gives you a standing ovation.

I take that step, I shout, “I failed!”… and everyone claps and cheers. In that moment, what could have felt like humiliation becomes a celebration.

It reframes mistakes entirely. Suddenly, they’re not disasters… they’re part of the game.

The lie we tell ourselves about being “ready”

Improv is spontaneous. It forces you to act, to say something — anything — and trust that it’s enough. The next person picks up from there.

Here’s what I’ve learned: Ready is a myth. The only way to feel ready is to start… and keep going. There’s no failure. Every attempt, whether smooth or awkward, moves you forward.

The ACT framework

When I finally began sharing my message, I realised it came down to three things. I call it the ACT framework, because action is the key to creating whatever you want in life.

A — Accept where you are
You don’t have to start from perfect. Begin from exactly where you are, with the resources, skills, and courage you have today.

C — Connect with people, not perfection
Perfection can be a trap. Focus instead on the one person who needs to hear your message and speak directly to them.

T — Turn it into a practice
Make sharing your message part of your rhythm — daily, weekly, or in whatever way feels sustainable. Consistency builds confidence and momentum.

The lottery ticket

Not taking action reminds me of an anecdote about a man who prays every day to win the lottery… but never buys a ticket.

You already have your ticket — your message — but it only matters if you play it.

So… will you keep your message folded away, or will you take the next step and share it?

Your step today

Everyone has a message to share. You were born to shine. So, what is the life you want to live? What is the world you want to live in? Help create it.

Lead by example. Share your gifts, your message, because the world needs you.

Take one step today. What will it be?

The Hidden Meaning Of "All I wanna do is make love to you"

Do you ever feel you’re getting signs from the Universe or your intuition, call it whatever you want, that show you what to do next, or reveal something you are meant to be paying attention to?

I have been getting these in the form of songs stuck in my head when I wake up in the morning for years. Not every morning, and it usually happens in cycles. But when they do, I am fascinated by their meaning. 

This is such a period, and today I woke up with the song by Heart: “All I wanna do is make love to you”… I kept saying over and over again: “All I wanna do is make love to you. One night of love is all we knew”—just these lyrics. Sometimes I will sing a whole verse or a big part of a song, but this time it was just that. 

I wondered what it meant, so I asked ChatGPT. And if you’re one of those sceptics who do not trust AI, all I can say is that you are entitled to your opinion, and so am I. But the point of this article is not about ChatGPT. It is about intuition, the signs you get, and how you can activate it more. This is what ChatGPT came up with, and it made perfect sense to me:

🎶 "All I wanna do is make love to you"

This isn’t just physical—it’s energetic.

You’re being invited to merge with life, to stop waiting and start co-creating.

To pour your desire into something tangible — your book, your content, your manifestations.

It’s a call to generate, not just ideate.

🌹 “A night of love was all we knew”

There’s a sacred surrender here — a relinquishing of control in favour of embodiment.

It’s not about forever plans. It’s about showing up fully, wildly, tonight.

This is your cue to stop planning your life to death and instead feel it into aliveness.

Your Soul Might Be Saying:
“Stop thinking. Stop waiting. Stop over-spiritualizing.
Make love to your life. Get messy. Get bold.
Let your creations be a holy act of union.”

This is precisely my energy today! 

I have been feeling, no, bursting with creativity, not knowing where to channel it and what to do first. My subconscious is guiding me so boldly and clearly. So, the first thing I did, was share this with you. 

I also wanted to share a short ritual that you can do, if you want to realign your focus on what matters to you. 

🔥 “Make Love to Life” Activation 🔥

1. Drop In
Sit still for 1-2 minutes. Place one hand on your lower belly (womb/creative centre) and one on your heart.
Ask yourself gently:
👉 What is asking to be created through me today?
👉 What am I ready to give myself to, fully and unapologetically?

2. Name Your Lover (aka, Your Focus)
Choose one thing you will “make love to” today — it could be your book, a reel, a blog post, a deep soul-aligned task.
Name it aloud:

“Today, I make love to ___.”

3. Set the Mood
Choose music, lighting, scents — yes, like you’re preparing a real date. Seduce yourself into creative flow.
You’re not working. You’re dancing with the divine.

4. Move From Eros, Not Obligation
Let it be sensual, embodied, playful. No timelines, no outcomes.
Ask: What would this look like if it felt like pleasure instead of pressure?

When I did it, what was interesting was that the answer I immediately received was to look after my body. Not what I expected, but again, it makes sense because I have been overindulging lately. I do feel bloated when I tune in and pay attention to my body. So, today, I am focusing on nurturing my body and soul! Light and nourishing food, plenty of water, a relaxing bath, moisturising, meditation, candlelight, my favourite music and maybe some dancing. Making love to me 😁 ... after I answer my calling to do some creative work too. 

I invite you to try this quick and simple ritual and discover what your intuition is guiding you to do now. 

And if you feel inclined, please share the answer you received. I would love to know.

With much love ❤️
      Myrto

When Doing What You Love Doesn’t Feel Like Enough

Have you ever thought, "I love my life—so why am I still frustrated?"

Here are 5 steps that helped me take an honest look at my life and realign with what truly matters and brings me joy. [There is a nutshell section towards the end if you’re in a hurry or don’t want to follow along my process.]

Do you ever take a moment to reflect on your life? Are you happy? Are you enjoying life? Is there something that needs changing? 

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about my beliefs. Questioning them. Rethinking my life. Questioning what I am doing daily. Wondering what I'm doing wrong. Why? Because, although I have been doing exactly what I want in every aspect of my life for the past couple of years, and having a blast, things have not been progressing as I would have liked. 

Let me explain. 

My transformation started exactly eight years ago. At the time, I was a wreck, and looking back, I cannot believe how far I’ve come. But, I have two important areas that still need fixing. One of them is career and the other is relationships. I will focus on my career today and address relationships in a future post. Stay tuned.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my career and what I do every day, but the problem is that I feel I’m not receiving the recognition or attention I deserve. Most importantly, I still struggle to earn a living solely from coaching, speaking, and writing. I have become impatient; I want everything now. And there are days when I feel disappointed. 

I understand that this is my Ego speaking, and it’s complaining. To be honest, I feel a bit embarrassed admitting these thoughts and exposing myself in this way, but the reason I’m sharing this with you is to show that we all have moments of doubt and frustration, and that it's perfectly okay. Plus, I would like to guide you through my process for moving forward and resolving these issues.

What do I do?

1. I observe my feelings and acknowledge them. I feel frustration, impatience, a bit of shame, sprinkled with insecurity, topped with a few doubts and inadequacy. 

2. I realise they are just feelings and not me. I am not my feelings. Feelings come and go. From this place, I can assess the situation with a clear perspective. What the hell? I can even laugh at my feelings :-) 

3. I ask questions… and answer them boldly. 

(a) What am I doing right? 

I have a career plan that begins with my book, along with marketing myself, building my website, newsletter, blog, and followers. My primary goal is to complete and publish my book as soon as possible, and to attract more one-on-one coaching clients. My newsletter subscribers are slowly, but steadily increasing. I have created affirmations about everything that I want to achieve in my life.

(b) What do I enjoy? 

All of the above. I absolutely love waking up in the morning and sitting at my desk to do any task involving what I mentioned above. I enjoy the creativity. I am grateful and content with my everyday life.

(c) What am I doing wrong? 

My mindset: I have limiting beliefs about how possible and how quickly I can succeed. I believe in the Law of Attraction, but I don’t use it constructively. I find it difficult to believe in an outcome if I don’t know how I will get there. I’m not consistent in writing the book, reading my affirmations, or in what I publish and when. I don’t seem to be gaining enough followers, and I'm experiencing very little engagement, which annoys me and makes me waste energy. I am not utilising my evenings effectively; I watch too much TV.

(d) Is there something that needs changing?

My mindset (limiting beliefs). My habits (consistency, TV). Perhaps part of the content I share and how I share it, or the channels through which I promote myself.

(e) What will I do differently?

To address my limiting beliefs, I will read my affirmations daily. I have just enrolled in a Mindvalley course called Manifestation Mastery, which I believe will help accelerate the results I desire by putting me in the right mindset and creative energy. I will resume daily meditation, as I feel it will bring me greater clarity and keep me centred. In the evenings, instead of watching TV, except on one day of the week, I will go for a walk, which is beneficial for both my mind and body. Depending on my energy and clarity, I will either write, create content for my posts and newsletter, or, if I feel more tired, I will read or watch something educational—anything that will add value to my knowledge. I will explore opportunities for guest appearances on podcasts and speaking engagements. I will seek advice on enhancing my online presence. I will continue to go with the flow and listen to my needs. I will cultivate more patience and faith in myself and the Law of Attraction. I will be open to new ideas and information.

4. Add my decisions to a ToDo list and calendar. Unless I actively create a plan and take action, the decisions will remain observations and wishful thinking. 

Having gone through this process live as I write this, I must tell you that I feel like a completely different person from when I started. At peace and more confident that I will achieve everything I desire. I highly recommend you try this. And if you don’t want to read my personal thoughts, here are the 5 steps in a nutshell: 

—————————— In A Nutshell——————————

So, if you ever find yourself wondering why you’re frustrated, even when you're doing everything “right,” know that you’re not broken; you’re just being invited to realign. To pause, reflect, and make space for clarity. 

Wherever you are on your path: thriving, doubting, or somewhere in between, you’re not alone. Maybe this is your moment to ask yourself the bold questions, and listen with curiosity, not judgment. Realignment isn’t about striving harder; it’s about softening into what’s true. The more you trust the wisdom within, the more naturally your path unfolds.

This process reminded me that growth isn’t always loud or fast. Sometimes, it looks like slowing down, shifting gently, and trusting the timing of your life. Keep listening. Keep adjusting. Keep believing in YOU. And above all, keep honouring what you love.

Zoom calls: Α mirror I didn’t enjoy looking at… How Online Meetings Exposed My Inner Critic

Do Zoom meetings ever feel like staring at yourself in the mirror?
Where every fear and ounce of self-judgment creeps in?

Well, that’s how it used to feel for me. I’d sit there in Gallery mode, scanning everyone’s faces, making up stories; about them, about me. I’d catch myself watching myself more than the speaker. And often… I’d miss the whole point of the meeting.

I couldn’t help but compare myself to others… and feel small.

Thoughts like:
🌀 “I’m not as accomplished.”
🌀 “I’ve done nothing compared to them—and I’m 50!”
🌀 “I have nothing interesting to contribute.”

So I usually stayed quiet.

Self-aware of every move I made, my posture, my facial expressions, while also checking out everyone else.

I was stuck in what I call “the Zoom phenomenon”.

Zoom, or any other online meeting platform, can feel like a live social media platform. So many people hide. Or perform. Trying to be how they think they should be or how they want other people to see them. Fake backgrounds. Retouched faces (a great Zoom feature, I must admit, I enjoy using!)

Depending on the type of meeting, they adopt the appropriate persona to go with it. It's also how people behave in real life, with the only difference being that in the virtual world, it's more exaggerated, and it's easier to hide behind the screen. 

So often, everyone looks so emotionless… and motionless. So serious. It’s like there’s a new kind of “netiquette” or social behaviour we all silently agreed to follow.

Let’s see…
🎓 Workshop? Look interested. Don't move too much. Participate, raise your hand. Follow the rules.
🏢 Work meeting? Be serious and prepared. Wear “appropriate” clothes.
🧘 Spiritual group? Radiate calm. Speak slowly and quietly. Look zen. (You're spiritual, after all.)
👯 Club or community? Look interesting and be interested, share, participate.

Now, these behaviours are ok and I’m not judging, as long as it’s who you really are. I actually find it refreshing when people show up relaxed and real. You can sense their vibes and authenticity, even through a screen.

The truth is, many of the meetings I attended were part of courses to help me grow. To improve. To find myself. To boost my self-confidence and transform from the inside out.

And as that inner change began, my Zoom presence changed too. I loosened up. I felt more connected to my inner self. I no longer felt the need to show up in a particular way, other than the authentic expression of myself.

✨ I stopped judging myself.
✨ I stopped judging others.
✨ And I began to enjoy the meetings.

These days, you can spot me in a meeting because I’m probably the most expressive person in the Zoom room. Maybe it’s my Mediterranean roots, but I can’t help it. I smile, I frown, I laugh… loudly; I use my hands a lot and move when I speak. If there’s music, I might even dance.

This is me.
And I love being me.
I don’t care if you or anyone else judges me… or even likes me.
And let me tell you: it’s so liberating!

Now, I have a good time in meetings. I can concentrate on what's being said.
I’m present. I learn. I connect.
And when the meeting ends, I feel fresh, calm, and at peace.

👉 So, in your next online meeting, try showing up as YOU.
Just as you are.
See what happens.

P.S. Wanna work on your limiting beliefs and negative self-talk?
Use daily affirmations. [Click here to learn more and download your free guide.]

🗃️ Through the vault - originally published: April '22 

Waterskis, Wine Shops & WTF Was I Doing With My Life?

Have you ever looked around at your life and thought, How did I end up here? Not in a dramatic, movie-worthy way—but in that quiet, aching realisation that almost everything you're doing… isn’t actually you. That you’ve been busy living a life shaped by other people’s desires, expectations, or attention—and somehow lost yourself along the way?

That was me.

For years, I floated from one identity to the next. I lived in Corfu for six months because I fell for a guy. No job, no plan—just feelings. After that ended, I took up waterskiing, not because I loved it, but because another ex used to hang out there. I showed up week after week, hoping to “accidentally” run into him. Spoiler: I never did. But I learned to ski (badly 😂), and convinced myself it was fun.

Then came rally co-driving (yes, really), wine shops, and even delivering fresh fish in a van to local tavernas—all because of whoever I was dating at the time. Almost none of it was me. I was the “yes” girl. The good girl. The girl who’d do anything to be liked, to be chosen. Until one day, the pretending cracked.

I was alone again—another relationship over—and to be honest, I felt lonely and miserable… again! This time, my whole life was in ruins, not just my relationship, and that’s when I found myself asking a question I had spent years avoiding: What do I actually want?

And I didn’t know.

That scared me more than anything else. I had built my whole life around other people’s preferences. I didn’t have a vision, a passion, or even a clue. But I knew one thing: if I didn’t figure it out, I was going to keep living this dead-end cycle—starting over and over again, trying on other people’s lives, hoping one would finally fit. Feeling excited at first, and ending up being disappointed and unhappy in the end. I could see that nothing could genuinely satisfy me, because it was never my choice.

That was my turning point. Not a lightning bolt moment, but a quiet, honest reckoning. A realisation that I could no longer keep sacrificing myself just to be liked. That if I ever wanted to be truly happy, I had to choose me—on purpose.

I’ve come to learn that the compass we’re handed at birth often gets clouded by conditioning. Gratitude turns into obligation. Acceptance gets confused with settling. Authenticity is traded for approval. Playfulness is dismissed as immaturity. And love? Love becomes a transaction instead of a way of being.

But here's the truth I’ve landed on: love is not a destination. It’s the path. And when we let love guide us—real love, the unconditional kind that begins within—we start to realign.

For me, that realignment started with a different question—one I had never thought of asking before: “What do I love?”

Not what’s expected of me. 

Not what will impress others. 

Not what will make me look successful or keep me safe. 

Just this: What do I genuinely love?

It was harder to answer than I thought. Because when you’ve spent most of your life living for others, you lose the sound of your own voice. But slowly, by listening within, I began to hear it again.

This shift didn’t change my life overnight—but it did change me. It softened the edges of my self-talk. It gave me the courage to speak up, to slow down, to say no without guilt. It helped me see the little girl inside me who was waiting to be chosen… by me.

So if you’re feeling off course, you don’t need a map. You just need to tune in. Ask yourself what you love.

You might be surprised where it leads you.

📝 Try This:

🔥Then Do This:

Write it down. Don’t filter. Just let it come. And do it. This is where the path back to yourself begins.

Afraid of negative feelings? You are not alone. My 3 phases and 4 tips.

So many times, we deny ourselves and our feelings because of what we, or other people, believe is the right thing to do or the right way to be. Dealing with feelings wasn’t something I could cope with well in the past. But something in me slowly changed over the last few years. 

I started writing this piece during the last Christmas holidays and forgot about it until today, when I stumbled upon it and decided to finish my thoughts, as they felt relevant. It’s for you - and me - who often go through the motions with feelings, experiencing sadness, loneliness, and stress, and wondering if you’re alone and what you should do about it. 

Phase 1

It was the 30th of December, and I felt very lonely. This is what I wrote: 

I love my independence, don’t get me wrong, but during the holiday season, people come together. You are expected to do things with the ones you love, family, and close friends—be happy, celebrate, and have fun. And even though it doesn't make sense when you look at it rationally, you get drawn to the holiday’s sentiment. Relationships are tested. People either get closer or grow apart. 

Today, I feel a void. I am sad. Unsatisfied. I’m not in the mood for the Christmas festivities. On the contrary, I want to hide in my hole and be miserable. I know I am not the only one, which is why I decided to channel this feeling into writing about it and sharing it with you. 

However, know that, like everything else, this too shall pass. And that's my message to all of you who have similar feelings.

It's one of those days when I want more. I crave intimacy. Being with friends or family isn’t enough. I want a special someone to share the day with. And that is ok. I know I will be ok. I observe and go with the flow. Even if this means feeling sad. In the past, I would have tried to suppress my emotions, convincing myself that I am happy just as I am. I would have found something to do, just for the sake of it, even if it was not what I desired with my heart. Or I would resort to wine and food. Numbing my feelings. Forgetting.

Not this time. I have reached a point in my life where I am not afraid to feel. I observe. I stay with the feeling. I accept it. Until it takes its course and is no longer present. Maybe it will be later today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe in a few days. And that’s fine. 

Life is not just about being happy all the time. It is about the experience. About learning. About feeling all the emotions. The highs and the lows. About being. Present in the moment. Now. 

As I write this, I start to feel peace within. A smile is returning to my face. Healing has begun. I am at peace!

Phase 2

It is now the 3rd of January, into the new year, and my emotions have been like a rollercoaster this past week. Going from happy, dancing like crazy, feeling complete with deep, intimate conversations with friends, to sad and lonely, wishing I was somewhere else, sceptical, peaceful, creative, frustrated, bored, lazy, thoughtful about my life… you name it, I felt it all.

And this theme continued for the first three months of the year, with me being more introverted, spending more time at home alone, feeling a lack of energy to do things, and being more tired than usual, not feeling quite myself, with the occasional wild days popping in between. All the while, noticing what I was going through… keeping in mind that we go through phases and we cannot be at our 100% all the time. 

The old me would have been plagued with guilt and would have pushed me to try harder, work harder, and snap out of it. The new me just watched… sometimes wondering when this phase would end… LOL.

Phase 3

We are in the week after Easter, at the end of April. I’m back from my holiday, during which I spent four days in Edinburgh with very close friends before going to London and spending five days alone. Yes, alone on Easter, a big Greek traditional family holiday! It was the first time I didn’t have a specific plan for how to spend it with friends or family, and on an impulse, I decided to take this solo trip. 

In the past, spending Easter alone would have triggered feelings of loneliness and misery. Not this time. I enjoyed my me-time, and when I came back, I wanted more. I had the freedom to choose how to spend my days. I did what I wanted most at the time: walking around London, listening to music, exploring new vegan tastes, visiting pubs, talking to strangers, or just taking in the city’s vibe. I felt alive and full of energy! I felt inspired. I even had a new idea about helping women - a place where we can discuss our problems and support each other. If I move ahead with it, I will update the post ;-) 

What a contrast from the beginning of the year! Today, I feel happy and at peace. I feel confident and content. I am not sure if it’s because I’m evolving or if this is just another phase I’m going through. However, what I’m sure of is this: first, looking back, I have survived every difficult period in my life, and I always will; second, it’s all about what I tell myself and the meaning I give to my thoughts and emotions; and third, honouring my feelings and respecting my needs can only bring good in the end.

My conclusion, along with my 4 tips: 

Don’t deny what you’re feeling, and most importantly, don't feel guilty or add stress on top of it. It will only take more time to subside or come back stronger to force you to acknowledge it. Let it be and observe. It is what it is.

You cannot experience only the good; everything is part of our journey. Don’t be afraid to feel, knowing that this, too, shall pass. Things change.  

All it takes is acknowledging your feelings, surrendering, accepting, and letting time and presence in the moment work their magic. And believe you me, they do!

When you go with the flow, you allow what needs to be expressed to rise to the surface. And it can be beautiful and inspiring.  

Are you struggling? I am here for you. You can schedule a 30 min free call with me here.

Do you ever set a goal and don't know how you're going to achieve it?

This is exactly how I felt when I decided to submit my Book Proposal to enter a publishing competition. About 80 authors take part each time... with one winner who receives a contract to be published by Hay House, probably the most famous, non-fiction, spiritual, self-help genre Book Publishing Company in the world.

It was back in September 2024, and the deadline for the submission was March the 5th, 2025.

So, I had my goal with my deadline, but it looked like a huge mountain to climb. A non-fiction book is about 50-70K words. Just the Proposal is 15-20K (that's about 40-60 pages)! I looked at the specifications and had no idea how to do most of them. I did not feel very optimistic, but I wanted to try. What did I have to lose? Nothing. But I had a lot to win!

💡TIP I: Follow the ROADMAPS method of goal-setting. *Go to my blog. I have written an article about it in which I give all the information you need.

I followed what I preach:

🌟 Step 1: Create a plan. What are the first steps I can take? 👉 Assign time to work on the Proposal for an hour per day.

🌟 Step 2: I enrolled in a do-it-yourself, follow-along course to help me, but it wasn't helping enough. I got stuck every step of the way! I had more questions than answers.

🌟 Step 3: Re-evaluate the plan if it is not working. What can I do differently?

🌟 Step 4: For me, it was asking for help. Hiring a coach to help me. Something I never did in the past. So, I hired a company specialising in helping authors with whatever they need in order to publish their book. They assigned me a coach/editor, and together we created a new plan working backwards to meet my deadline.

🌟 Step 5: Follow the new plan and schedule. I now had an actual person who could show me the way. Who knew how to do this. Someone to ask questions when I got stuck. What a relief!

🌟 Step 6: When it didn't flow, I took a step back and waited. But, I kept believing deep down inside that the answer would come. After a few days, I went back and tried again. And it worked.

💡TIP II: The most important thing is to start taking steps. Only if you move, you're gonna get closer to your goal, get feedback and find solutions you cannot see at the beginning.

💡TIP III: You don't have to reinvent the wheel. Ask for help when you need it. There are experts out there who can show you the way.

💡TIP IV: Don't forget to re-evaluate, but also go with the flow. Give yourself time if things aren't going the way you planned. Believe the answers will come, and they will.

With my coach's help, feedback, and encouragement, I managed to tackle every part of the proposal even when I thought I could not. I ended up finishing it much sooner than our deadline and even felt it was a lot easier than I had anticipated!

I submitted my proposal yesterday, the 1st of March 2025. The winner will be announced in a couple of months.

Am I going to win? No idea. However, researching and writing this proposal has helped me on many levels, and it was all worth it. It was time well spent. I am now 100% clear about every aspect of my book. What it's about, who will want to read it, why I am writing it, and what I am going to talk about in every chapter not written yet.  

Wish me luck! I will come back and update this post when I have the results.

What are my next steps? Do I have a back up plan?

Of course! My next goal is to finish writing the book by my next birthday, coming up in May, and then if I don't win, I will self-publish as well as send my Proposal to other Publishing companies.

Learn more about my book, Am I Enough? - Go from No to Yes and Beyond here.

7 steps to stop doing what you clearly know is the wrong thing

Do you ever feel you know what you need to do but you still go and do the exact opposite? 

There are times in life when we experience the same situation over and over again, whether it involves ourselves, a spouse, a relative, a friend, or a business associate. We feel frustrated, disappointed, angry, or sad, ultimately leaving us feeling empty and unsatisfied. Our Egos are hurt. We declare, “never again," only to fall into the same trap - or crap - once more! 

Deep down, we always know what is right for us and everyone involved, but our Ego interferes. Our logic or intuition clearly says one thing, but something else—a feeling, a want, a need, a desire to be right and accepted—pushes us to gravitate towards the familiar or what we think will satisfy this emotion. We want others to see our point of view. To get us. To make us happy.

For me, my main pattern has been romantic relationships. Most of the time, I have known almost immediately where they were heading and whether they would work out. I knew they wouldn’t. The reason I am attracted to these types of relationships is another story, but now I want to focus on what happens after I enter them. I engage in an internal battle where I logically and intuitively know what’s right, but my Ego has a mind of its own and unfortunately rules my decisions. I hate to admit it, but what I want - my Ego wants - is to conquer the other person; entirely! My Ego craves to transform them into what It wants in order to feel loved, cared for, and desired. 

On the other hand, as I have begun to awaken and be more present in the moment, being able to observe my Ego in action, I can see the absurdity of these wants and needs. I feel disappointed in myself; for thinking and behaving in ways I know are completely wrong and futile. I am well aware that we cannot change anyone. All we can do is accept them for who they are. Whether we like it or not. Plus, I cannot possess anyone, as they are not mine to own. So, at first, I used to attempt to change myself, deny the feelings, suppress my Ego, and prevent it from acting like crazy. Did that work? 

Of course not! Because it falls into the same category. You cannot create change by forcing change. Even if it is for yourself. You need to let it happen naturally… with some help. 

I have been using these steps for quite some time now to help me resolve different issues in my life, and of course, they are about working on yourself and your Ego and not on any other person:

1. The first step is to observe. Become aware. Notice your Ego at work.

2. Accept that this is happening. Your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions, your unrealistic demands or behaviour. Because you cannot deny the present moment. It is what it is.

3. All the while, if you can, try to stay conscious as an observer without judging. Focus on your breath to bring some serenity and spaciousness to the moment. Treat it like a passing storm. If you can’t, and get lost in the situation, that’s ok too. You‘re doing the best you can.

4. Instead of being hard on yourself, the other person or the situation, try to approach it in a playful way. Laugh - that is what I sometimes manage to do and I am telling you, if you can do it, it really works. Nothing is that serious (well, most things anyway). You can always find a funny side to every story… lighten up and even make fun of yourself. It releases good hormones, gives you another perspective and can help you see things from your heart, intuitively, creatively and in a new scope.

5. When the “episode” has passed: Try to figure out where your behaviour is coming from. The patterns. Sit quietly, and ask yourself - without judgement, but with an inquisitive mind, like talking to a friend: 

Is it something stemming from your past, or your childhood? 

Is it fear of rejection, being alone, or not being good enough? 

Wanting external validation and acknowledgement?

Not feeling secure or loved? 

How often does it happen? How are you triggered?

Why do you need this? Is it true? Does it serve you in any way?

What would it feel like if you let go?

6. If you still don't feel complete and at peace: Close your eyes, invite the feeling or thought back, allow it to be as you breathe in and out. Focus on your breath and keep noticing it. Watch it as it diminishes and bring in the new feeling you would like to experience instead. Do not force it. Let things flow. You may not manage to do it perfectly, but it is a start. You’re doing your best… always.

7. You may need to do the steps again and again, until that part of your Ego dissolves completely and no more episodes occur. Know that you’re on your way!

💡TIP: I find that journaling helps me a lot to figure out stuff. 

One more thing to remember: the Ego has a conniving way of making you stay in familiar patterns. It loves the suffering and the drama. You might think you don’t want it, but your Ego thrives on negative emotions. Even though we don’t want to admit it, being the victim in any situation places us at the centre of attention, casts us as the good guy—and the other as the bad—and provides us with some form of validation. But what a waste of energy this is. Right? 

Pay attention to your intuition and begin to recognise the dissonance between your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Break free from the habitual patterns that contribute to your unhappiness in any respect. You don’t have to create suffering for yourself or anybody else you come into contact with.

When you follow these steps, eventually you will experience a shift in you as your Ego, regarding the matter you’re working on, will dissolve. You will change. Your energy will change and that “thing” will be a non-issue! Sometimes it happens fast and you may experience the Ego subsiding while you’re observing the troubling situation or your recurring negative thoughts. You will know because you will suddenly be at peace, wondering what the problem was all about. People around you will feel your energy changing too. 

Other more deep-rooted Ego patterns may need more time to vanish. But it will happen. It all comes back to being aware, observing, acknowledging, accepting, inquiring, laughing, being open, listening to your intuition, and going with the flow by allowing what needs to be expressed to just be. That’s when you find more peace and joy in your everyday life. 

Do you need some help with this? I am here for you. Let’s connect.

P.S. Just for your information. Regarding my pattern: I am still a work in progress, but improving quickly and steadily. I cherish the lessons learned from each experience, which help me confront my Ego and bid farewell to Its every obnoxious behaviour.😁

What can you do when you’re feeling down?

Do you ever wake up in the morning feeling down or depleted of energy for no apparent reason? Or maybe it is for a reason! What do you do?

I have been feeling this way for some time now. Some days, it’s just that I feel my energy is really low. I feel like I don’t have the stamina to do anything. And my mood is the same. I don’t care about going out and seeing other people. I don’t want to exercise, go to the beach - which I usually love - or go walking. I prefer to stay home, work on my computer and then, at some point in the evening, move my body to the couch, eat and watch TV. This started New Year's Day. So, now that I think of it, it has almost been a month! 

In the past, I would have pushed myself to snap out of it. I would have made myself go out, go to the beach, have lunch with friends and try to have a good time, even though I wasn’t feeling it. As I am becoming more present and accepting, this time, instead of resisting, I am going with the flow. And at the same time, I am noticing what is happening to me.

By staying in, I have progressed in my book. I am writing a lot. It seems I am in a more introverted period in my life, and also more creative. My moodiness doesn’t change this. I love writing my book, building my Social Media reach, and having coaching sessions. Working on these things gives me pleasure and joy during my day. I realise that my work makes me feel better because I love what I do! Incredible! Since it would be something I would have never thought of or been able to claim a few years back! It makes me think how much I have progressed, even in the last year. Small steps make such a huge difference over time.

It’s not that I don’t go out at all! But not at the intensity I would have during other periods of my life. Some days, I feel lonely, and I am okay with that, too! I am accepting myself just the way I am. Here. Now. Today. Why? Because I know that this too shall pass. Nothing in life ever stays the same. I am honouring my feelings and my body’s needs without being guilty, worried, or wanting to change because it is not “right” for me to be this way! 

Last week, I started exercising again, and I enjoyed it. I don’t feel strong yet, but I am giving my body time to come back and adjust. Saturday, I was invited to a party, which, until the last minute, I wasn’t sure if I was going to. I went for a long walk - yes, I started that too - and thought about it all day. Again, I decided that I would go with the flow and do what felt right at the last minute. I was okay not to know. One more thing I would have never considered in the past. I would have just pushed myself to go and have a good time. And then, I would need at least a couple of days of solitude to recover from pushing my limits and going against what felt right for me in the first place.

Eventually, I decided to attend, just because I was sure that the next morning, I would be kicking myself for not going. But I stayed in my corner, not socialising much or participating in the fun activities. I allowed myself not to be a party animal. I ended up meeting a couple of very interesting women who I believe will become my friends. I actually had a good time, even though I wasn’t my usual fun self. 

I am still in this moody kind of period, but feeling stronger and with more energy. But the reason I shared this experience with you is to give you these 5 tips and thoughts that maybe could help if you find yourself in a similar situation*:

Sometimes, you should do nothing!

You are not supposed to be 100% all the time. Like the seasons, our bodies have rhythms. Listen to your body’s needs. Rest. Allow your body to recharge.

Feelings and emotions are the same. We are not supposed to be happy all the time. Notice your feelings and emotions. Acknowledge them, and don’t try to fight them. Be okay with them, and know they will change. Do not force this change. They will probably go away on their own. Or, when the time is right, you will know what to do. 

Don’t go against yourself and your needs. Don’t feel you need to be and behave in a specific way. There is no right way of being. Only what you are now. Go with the flow. Allow yourself to be, and maybe you’ll be surprised by what you discover.

You are not your body. You are not your thoughts. You are not your emotions. These are ever-changing. You are the observer, the presence, the inner peace. Go within. Observe. Sense the spaciousness. Sense the part of you that is still. And you’ll find peace.

I used to believe that I should always be positive and happy. I should have the answers and know where I am going. Strive to move forward. To reach the goal. To keep going. To never give up. To be relentless in my quest to achieve my dream. To push myself, especially when I feel I can’t do it. Because this is how we are supposed to be. I have come to realise that life is not about that. It is about being present. Enjoying the journey. Even the bad days. And I don’t mean loving to be miserable. But acknowledging what is and being okay with it. And finding small things that bring you peace and joy, even during these times. Life is a lot simpler than what we make it. It’s about experiencing every moment to the fullest. Whatever this moment is. 

Have questions? Need help? 

I am here for you. Let’s connect.

*PS. I am not talking about chronic depression or any other physical or mental disorder or disease. In that case, seek medical attention - psychological or physical help - as soon as possible.

What I learned by ignoring the symptoms

Have you ever had a nagging pain in your body, or something strange showing up on your skin, a lump, or anything that is out of the ordinary concerning your health, and your first reaction is to ignore it? Maybe you are a bit worried, but you think, Well, it will go away! It’s nothing serious! I believe it's a healthy way to look at the situation - initially. And usually, it probably isn’t, and all is well.

But sometimes, the problem doesn’t go away on its own, and when a few days pass, you start to worry more. And your stupidest idea is to google your symptom! And then all hell breaks loose! Because you find all the worst-case scenarios. And our minds tend to thrive on negative thinking. We love being scared and obsessing about what can go wrong. We can’t help it. Our thoughts are generated uncontrollably. 

I experienced this some time ago. I started having canker sores in my mouth. They were irritating and painful, but they went away quickly. The problem was that they reappeared after a while. Every time, I thought I was done with them, and they showed up again. This had never happened before in my life on a regular basis. It was annoying and it was starting to worry me a bit. But I still chose to ignore it. 

After a while, I had a new symptom. In the beginning, numbness at the front of my tongue, but as the days went by, it turned into soreness and pain. Especially when I ate, every bite was painful. And my taste wasn’t as acute as usual. I am a Taurus; food is one of my biggest pleasures in life, and this felt like a nightmare. Not being able to enjoy my food. It was frustrating, but I was also starting to get worried. What if this was a sign of something more serious? What if I had an infectious disease I caught somewhere? What if it was cancer?

My mind was making different catastrophic scenarios, but I still wasn’t ready to face my fears. I tried to convince myself it was nothing and would go away on its own. But it didn’t. By the time I decided to do something about it, it was the Christmas holidays, and I had to wait until the new year before I saw a specialist. I spent all the holidays, not enjoying food and agonising over what was wrong with me. Of course, I was tempted to google, and I did. Big mistake. It only made my anxiety more intense. But I endured, trying to get it out of my mind as often as possible. Trying to be present in what I was doing. And this helped.

Time slowly passed, and the day to go to the doctor came. As it turned out, it was nothing! It was all due to anxiety. I rubbed my tongue to my teeth and irritated it. The longer I had the problem, the more intensely and frequently I played with my tongue, making it worse. The solution was for me to consciously stop doing it. I couldn’t believe it! I was so relieved. Not even needing drugs. In three days, I was already a lot better. No more pain, just the numbness. Two more days later, even the numbness was gone. I was back to enjoying what I ate with all my senses. Loving it!

This experience taught me a big lesson:

Don’t ignore what your body is trying to tell you. If a symptom persists, assess the reason it exists.

If not, seek medical attention. There is no use agonising over what might be wrong or trying to self-diagnose, only scaring yourself and making the situation more stressful. The longer a problem goes untreated, the worse it may get, and the more negative thoughts will flood your head. And this isn’t good for you. See a doctor. The best case is that it is nothing or something that can be easily treated, and even if it is serious, the sooner you know and start doing something about it, the better. 

I often say, “Be ok with not knowing”! This is one of the times that it is better to know. 

8 Rules To Set Goals That Actually Work - The R.O.A.D.M.A.P.S. method

Most people know the SMART way of setting goals. But on some levels, I feel it is incomplete. Having used goalsetting for years now, to achieve what I want in my life, I have created a more complete method that incorporates everything I've learned.

Use my R.O.A.D.M.A.P.S. acronym for creating goals that will get you where you wanna go: 

REASONABLE

ORGANISED

ATTUNED

DEADLINE

MEASURABLE

ACTION

PERSONAL

SPECIFIC

1. A goal must be SPECIFIC. The more details, the better. Vague goals, produce vague results. For example, “I want to be happy” doesn’t mean anything. You need to think of specific things that will make you happy. Or I want a nice job or a great spouse. What are the specific traits that will satisfy you?

2. The goal must have a DEADLINE. By when do you want to achieve it? This helps you to keep on track and make adjustments if needed. Also, it gives you an incentive to start working for your goal. If you say, “I want to write a book”, that is just wishful thinking. Adding the “By when” will motivate you to move forward and do it.

3. It must be MEASURABLE. Someone other than you must be able to assess if you’ve achieved your goal or not by your deadline. If you say, “I want to lose weight”, it is vague. But if you say, “I want to weigh 120 pounds on May 30, 2025, everyone -including you- will know if you have achieved your goal by that date. 

4. It must be PERSONAL. It must be something YOU want. Not your family, not your friends, not society. What is even more important is to know why you want it. Your goals should be in harmony with your values, priorities, and inner purpose. These are the goals that you’re most likely going to achieve. Knowing your why will help you enjoy every step.

5. A goal must be REASONABLE. A goal must get you out of your comfort zone but must not be so crazy that it stops you in your tracks. Set realistic, smaller goals, and build upon them. Having said that. Dream big. Don’t let the how to stop you from setting a goal. You don’t need to know the how. Think about when you’re using a GPS; it only shows you the next couple of turns; the same thing happens with goals; as you move forward, the next steps will show up.

6. It’s not enough to just write your goals. You must take ACTION in order to achieve them. This adds to the previous rule. Take the first step, and then the next. The rule is to take three steps per day towards your goal. In a year, you will have taken more than 1,000 steps for this goal, which is huge. Remember, small things build up with time. 

7. You need to have a clear, ORGANISED plan of action... or at least the things you need to start doing to reach your goal. So, as soon as you have your goal, work on a plan. Write down any number of ideas you have that will help you achieve your goal. What is the first thing you need to do? Do it now.

8. What is very important, though, is that while pursuing your goals, you must stay ATTUNED to your needs, energy level, and environment. Take time to pause if you need it. Don’t feel guilty about it. We are not always at our best. We are not machines. It is ok to give yourself a break. It doesn’t mean you have failed. It means you are taking care of you. Also, reassess the goal and course-correct. Enjoy the journey, not the final destination.

In a nutshell 

Set specific, measurable, reasonable goals that are meaningful to you and that someone else can also understand if you have reached them by the deadline you have set. Create an organised plan and take action immediately by taking the first step. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t know how exactly you’re going to reach this goal because as you move forward, the solutions will come. Be excited with every step you take.  Enjoy the journey towards reaching your goal and not just the final destination. 

You might see that accountability is not one of the rules. Why? Because if the goal is what you love and truly want, you don’t need accountability. You will work towards it because you want to, without needing someone to overlook your shoulder. If the process doesn’t satisfy you, there are two things you can do: The first is to change your mindset so that you can find joy during the journey and every step you take, or rethink if this goal is what you truly want. Go deeper into the why you want it. There is a very good chance that what you actually want is something else. 

And if you need a break, give yourself permission to take it guilt-free. When you do that, it helps your mind and body rest and recharge, and you will come back to action with more energy, enthusiasm, and inspiration, and you will be more ready to tackle whatever obstacles might be in your way. Trust me on this. I have tested it again and again. 

I wish you good luck with whatever you wish to achieve in your life, and I am here if you want to reach out. Never think twice to ask for help if you need it. 

P.S. If you want support setting goals you can actually follow through on, I’ve written a short, practical book, the ROADMAPS framework, which is already a #1 Amazon Best-Seller. It walks you step by step through creating goals that fit you, with clear examples along the way.

ROADMAPS - The Eight-Step System for Goals That Actually Work - by Myrto Mangrioti

👉Get the book + bonuses here: https://ROADMAPSbook.com/

Or grab it on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GTFN5SYR

New Year Wishes Are Boring

As I am scrolling through Social Media, reading everyone’s New Year’s wishes, I notice the different themes. Many people say how bad 2024 was and wish it farewell and never to come back. Some give a summary of the year and what they wish for the new one.

But everyone is adding positive adjectives to the New Year: happy, prosperous, and healthy are the most common ones. I find all these wishes boring. Don’t get me wrong; I want those things, too, but it made me think: How can I make my wishes more interesting? What do I actually want in the new year? 

I started by reflecting on 2024. If I had to write something, I would say it was the best year of my life. It began by deciding that my word of the year would be Adventure, which set the theme for the whole of 2024. And what an adventure it was! In every area of my life. Extensive travelling, making great new lifelong friends, new experiences, a new eye-opening Lifestyle, new ideas to expand my business, and new ways to see and express myself. More open, more willing to get out of my comfort zone, willing to ask and get help for my business, going all in everything I did, and enjoying the moment, fearlessly. More present, more accepting, more confident, more peaceful. And most importantly, I started writing regularly for my book, and I saw it start taking shape by the end of the year! 

In between all that, I got hospitalised with a serious kidney infection, I sprained my ankle twice in one month and had to walk with crutches for more than two weeks, I lost my passport (and found it again) but got stranded abroad, for a few days, until the matter was resolved. I had an annoying cough during the summer for two weeks. You know, the one that doesn't let you sleep! On top of all that, I went through menopause! And finally, I suffered from a backache that held me at bed rest for almost a month. 

Some people might say, “But how can this be your best year ever? Ok, you’ve had some great experiences! But look at all the bad stuff that also happened to you. Surely, you cannot believe that this is your best year ever! How bad did the others suck?” LOL

I say, it’s all a matter of perspective. It’s how you choose to look at everything that happens to you and where you choose to focus on. During every setback or every illness I had last year, I chose to only focus on what was good. Also, to accept the present moment as it was. And find peace within. It is not easy, but I have been practising, and this is probably my proudest accomplishment of the year: that I was ok with whatever was happening to me and around me. And I embraced it. 

In the hospital, the nurses told me they had never seen such a happy and positive patient. The day I got out, and still under heavy antibiotics, I went out for dinner with my new friends and had a blast of a time. I celebrated my birthday in a restaurant and then a bar, with my crutches. I even travelled to Bordeaux, still in pain and with one crutch. I had the worst part of my cough attacks when visiting friends in Mallorca. I refused to let menopause rule my life and got all the help I needed to fly through it with the least possible symptoms, and I did.  And, I finally decided to listen to my body and rest, when my back pain was so severe I could not sit or stand. 

I am not sharing these stories to gloat but to show you that it is all about mindset—how we choose to act or react to everything we are experiencing in the moment. By choosing to accept it, go with the flow, trust the process, be in the moment, and focus on peace within, we find true wisdom, energy, and clarity to do exactly what is needed to get the best outcome. We don’t suffer, and life is so much easier. And the best of it all: other people around you sense this energy, and you all benefit. 

I wish 2025 brings you, me, and everybody, whatever we need to become more present in the moment, connect with our true essence, and enjoy the little things in life. I hope it will be one more year of amazing adventures and learning, through which we get to know and express our real selves better, and become wiser, more accepting, more open, and more conscious. And FYI: with it comes actual peace and joy… which includes all other wishes!

Living your best life... doesn't mean what you think it means!

I’ve seen hundreds of posts about coaches advertising they’ll help you live your best life… hell, this is what I say too. But what does it actually mean?

I used to think it meant living in constant bliss! Having everything I want and more... freedom, money, friends, love... as all the ads promise! Always being happy, not having a care in the world because I’ll have magically solved all my problems.

Living your best life is not that!

Have you noticed that most coaches - and again I'm not excluding myself from this - share stories of how they overcame a bad situation in their lives, using the tools they want to teach you? They now look happy and fulfilled, like all their problems were in their past. It’s like there’s a silver line in their lives:

before this ‘awful’ time: bad…😞

after: good...!😀

Well, there’s no such thing!!!

I wanna let you in on a secret: There’s no guru, coach or person in the world, that’s constantly happy and carefree. Not even the ones that seem to you like they are.

What's their difference, then?

Living your best life is all about your mindset. It’s all about what you do when things go wrong because, at some point, they will.

Living your best life is all about learning to enjoy the present moment, appreciating the little things, celebrating the wins, loving with all your heart, expressing your authentic self, and doing as much of what you love.

When shit happens, know that this too shall pass. Give yourself a break and learn what you can from the situation. 

It’s all about going with the flow, with the least resistance, trusting your inner guidance and your higher self. Living your best life also means getting through rough times faster & easier, the best way you can.

My definition of living your best life is becoming a better version of yourself, not every day as most would suggest, but in the long run. If you could see your life in a chart [see below... no math needed], it should ideally have an upward trend! 

That's what I am talking about!

Even if occasionally, you fall a lot lower… it’s all about learning to love yourself no matter what, accepting your imperfections and stopping beating yourself down every time things go wrong. Embracing your downs and getting back up again, at your own pace, stronger and wiser than before.

Living your best life means: living as best as you can… and improving as you go!

There are tools to create this powerful, positive, Rockstar mindset. They DO work, but not always, not all the time. 

Promising you magic is not my thing, and it wouldn’t be true... although sometimes these tools can work like magic! You’ll have ups and downs, like me, like everyone else, and the only thing you can do is persist and learn how to get out of the down spirals faster.

What I can promise is to be there when you need me. Every step of the way. Sharing the tools, making sure you are supported, making your life a little bit easier, a little bit better.

More on this soon! For the time being, let me know if there's anything I can help you with.