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Zoom calls: Α mirror I didn’t enjoy looking at… How Online Meetings Exposed My Inner Critic

 

Do Zoom meetings ever feel like staring at yourself in the mirror?
Where every fear and ounce of self-judgment creeps in?

 

Well, that’s how it used to feel for me. I’d sit there in Gallery mode, scanning everyone’s faces, making up stories; about them, about me. I’d catch myself watching myself more than the speaker. And often… I’d miss the whole point of the meeting.

 

I couldn’t help but compare myself to others… and feel small.

 

Thoughts like:
🌀 “I’m not as accomplished.”
🌀 “I’ve done nothing compared to them—and I’m 50!”
🌀 “I have nothing interesting to contribute.”

 

So I usually stayed quiet.

Self-aware of every move I made, my posture, my facial expressions, while also checking out everyone else.

 

I was stuck in what I call “the Zoom phenomenon”.

 

Zoom, or any other online meeting platform, can feel like a live social media platform. So many people hide. Or perform. Trying to be how they think they should be or how they want other people to see them. Fake backgrounds. Retouched faces (a great Zoom feature, I must admit, I enjoy using!)

 

Depending on the type of meeting, they adopt the appropriate persona to go with it. It's also how people behave in real life, with the only difference being that in the virtual world, it's more exaggerated, and it's easier to hide behind the screen. 

 

So often, everyone looks so emotionless… and motionless. So serious. It’s like there’s a new kind of “netiquette” or social behaviour we all silently agreed to follow.

 

Let’s see…
🎓 Workshop? Look interested. Don't move too much. Participate, raise your hand. Follow the rules.
🏢 Work meeting? Be serious and prepared. Wear “appropriate” clothes.
🧘 Spiritual group? Radiate calm. Speak slowly and quietly. Look zen. (You're spiritual, after all.)
👯 Club or community? Look interesting and be interested, share, participate.

 

Now, these behaviours are ok and I’m not judging, as long as it’s who you really are. I actually find it refreshing when people show up relaxed and real. You can sense their vibes and authenticity, even through a screen.

 

 

The truth is, many of the meetings I attended were part of courses to help me grow. To improve. To find myself. To boost my self-confidence and transform from the inside out.

 

And as that inner change began, my Zoom presence changed too. I loosened up. I felt more connected to my inner self. I no longer felt the need to show up in a particular way, other than the authentic expression of myself.

✨ I stopped judging myself.
✨ I stopped judging others.
✨ And I began to enjoy the meetings.

 

These days, you can spot me in a meeting because I’m probably the most expressive person in the Zoom room. Maybe it’s my Mediterranean roots, but I can’t help it. I smile, I frown, I laugh… loudly; I use my hands a lot and move when I speak. If there’s music, I might even dance.

This is me.
And I love being me.
I don’t care if you or anyone else judges me… or even likes me.
And let me tell you: it’s so liberating!

 

Now, I have a good time in meetings. I can concentrate on what's being said.
I’m present. I learn. I connect.
And when the meeting ends, I feel fresh, calm, and at peace.

 

👉 So, in your next online meeting, try showing up as YOU.
Just as you are.
See what happens.

 

P.S. Wanna work on your limiting beliefs and negative self-talk?
Use daily affirmations. [Click here to learn more and download your free guide.]

 

🗃️ Through the vault - originally published: April '22