Waterskis, Wine Shops & WTF Was I Doing With My Life?
Have you ever looked around at your life and thought, How did I end up here? Not in a dramatic, movie-worthy way—but in that quiet, aching realisation that almost everything you're doing… isn’t actually you. That you’ve been busy living a life shaped by other people’s desires, expectations, or attention—and somehow lost yourself along the way?
That was me.
For years, I floated from one identity to the next. I lived in Corfu for six months because I fell for a guy. No job, no plan—just feelings. After that ended, I took up waterskiing, not because I loved it, but because another ex used to hang out there. I showed up week after week, hoping to “accidentally” run into him. Spoiler: I never did. But I learned to ski (badly 😂), and convinced myself it was fun.
Then came rally co-driving (yes, really), wine shops, and even delivering fresh fish in a van to local tavernas—all because of whoever I was dating at the time. Almost none of it was me. I was the “yes” girl. The good girl. The girl who’d do anything to be liked, to be chosen. Until one day, the pretending cracked.
I was alone again—another relationship over—and to be honest, I felt lonely and miserable… again! This time, my whole life was in ruins, not just my relationship, and that’s when I found myself asking a question I had spent years avoiding: What do I actually want?
And I didn’t know.
That scared me more than anything else. I had built my whole life around other people’s preferences. I didn’t have a vision, a passion, or even a clue. But I knew one thing: if I didn’t figure it out, I was going to keep living this dead-end cycle—starting over and over again, trying on other people’s lives, hoping one would finally fit. Feeling excited at first, and ending up being disappointed and unhappy in the end. I could see that nothing could genuinely satisfy me, because it was never my choice.
That was my turning point. Not a lightning bolt moment, but a quiet, honest reckoning. A realisation that I could no longer keep sacrificing myself just to be liked. That if I ever wanted to be truly happy, I had to choose me—on purpose.
I’ve come to learn that the compass we’re handed at birth often gets clouded by conditioning. Gratitude turns into obligation. Acceptance gets confused with settling. Authenticity is traded for approval. Playfulness is dismissed as immaturity. And love? Love becomes a transaction instead of a way of being.
But here's the truth I’ve landed on: love is not a destination. It’s the path. And when we let love guide us—real love, the unconditional kind that begins within—we start to realign.
For me, that realignment started with a different question—one I had never thought of asking before: “What do I love?”
Not what’s expected of me.
Not what will impress others.
Not what will make me look successful or keep me safe.
Just this: What do I genuinely love?
It was harder to answer than I thought. Because when you’ve spent most of your life living for others, you lose the sound of your own voice. But slowly, by listening within, I began to hear it again.
This shift didn’t change my life overnight—but it did change me. It softened the edges of my self-talk. It gave me the courage to speak up, to slow down, to say no without guilt. It helped me see the little girl inside me who was waiting to be chosen… by me.
So if you’re feeling off course, you don’t need a map. You just need to tune in. Ask yourself what you love.
You might be surprised where it leads you.
📝 Try This:
- Find a quiet moment today and ask yourself:
- What do I truly enjoy doing—when no one is watching?
- What makes me feel alive, light, or free?
- What have I done just for me lately?
🔥Then Do This:
- Choose one thing you’re going to do for you this week
- Block time in your calendar
- When the time comes, DO IT non-negotiably
Write it down. Don’t filter. Just let it come. And do it. This is where the path back to yourself begins.
